Et tu, LeBron?

When I first heard that LeBron James was going to announce where he would be playing next year on ESPN in a one hour special that his people had negotiated, there was one word that came to mind: douche. Look, there's no denying that LeBron is a great player, probably the most talented player in the game right now. But if there was any question about what kind of a person he is, that was answered the second he decided to put create an hour long show dedicated to himself that he would control and put on ESPN.

But as douchey as the whole thing is, I couldn't help but watch the whole thing unfold. This seemed as good a time as any to do a running diary. Let's revisit The Decision...

5:50 - Switch over to ESPN. Analysts give their last bits of input, so I'll give mine. Everyone says Miami is where LeBron is heading. Makes sense at first glance -- D-Wade, Bosh, and LeBron? Can't say no to that. But this is what the Heat will look like: those three guys, plus nine guys with minimum contracts. Uh, is that a championship team? Hell no. You need those role players, the guys who create and do the little things for those big three. Instead, you have three guys who are used to being THE guy. I just can't see this working out the way everyone thinks it's going to.

If LeBron is smart, he'll either go to Chicago or stay in Cleveland. Chicago makes sense because it's the best overall team and he's still clearly the alpha dog there. Cleveland makes sense because it's his hometown, they'll work even harder to get the right guys around him, plus it shows he's loyal, and it proves he's willing to put in the work to make the Cavs successful. Also, if he decides to go somewhere else, he's basically stabbing Cleveland in the heart on national TV.

ESPN shows LeBron walking around the gym of the Boys and Girls Club in Connecticut, trying to act like this is something totally routine or normal. The audacity of this guy... But I also really hate myself for watching this.

6:00 - Stuart Scott is anchoring the coverage. Great. My least favorite ESPN personality. I hate this even more.

6:04 - ESPN shows a LeBron montage filled with highlights and memorable moments. Of course, there's one highlight missing: the one where he wins a title.

6:11 - They just put up a graphic of LeBron wearing different jerseys. This is getting more and more stupid by the second. Also, what happened to announcing the decision in the first 10 minutes? Lies, ESPN! LIES!

6:20 - Still just mindless banter from the ESPN heads about sources and speculation. And now another commercial break. This is so mind numbingly annoying. I feel like Barry Bonds. I hate everyone.

6:22 - They finally cut to LeBron and Jim Gray. Rather than just ask LeBron where he's going, Jim does a stupid dance of asking lead in questions. No one cares, Jim. No one cares.

6:25 - He's still asking questions. I'm pretty sure I'm going to punch Jim Gray in the face if I see him on the street because he's allowing this stupidity to go on further.

6:26 - LeBron says that his decision is based on the best situation to win. That sound you heard was Cleveland getting kicked in the groin.

6:27 - The decision: It's the Miami Heat! America can finally breathe again!

6:32 - LeBron just said, "I know how loyal I am." That's the LOL moment of the interview so far.

6:36 - They're showing reactions from around the country to his announcement. Miami? Unbridled excitement. Cleveland? You can probably guess.

6:39 - The game I'm looking forward to in the 2010-2011 season: Miami at Cleveland. Especially LeBron's pregame chalk throw. You probably won't have heard as many boos and cuss words since John Rocker pitched in New York.

6:43 - LeBron just compared his Big Three to the Celtics Big Three and talks about how that Celtics team had guys around them step up. He then mentions Rondo as being a guy who was relatively unknown, stepped up to support the Big Three, and ended up becoming one of the best point guards in the game right now. Okay, LeBron. I hate to break this to you, but Mario Chalmers is not the second coming of Rondo. Trust me, I had both of them on my fantasy team last year. One of them ended up being awesome and the second most untradeable guy on my team, and one of them ended up getting dropped from my roster by December. Guess which one was which.


6:46 - I'm seeing Facebook statuses go up everywhere. Just a friendly reminder to everyone: it's Miami Heat, not Miami HeatS.

6:49 - They show Cleveland fans burning LeBron jerseys. Michael Wilbon asks LeBron his reaction to that. "I'm going to be happy with the decision I've made and continue to be great." Wow. What a douche.

6:52 - Jim Gray's interview finally over. Stuart Scott's annoying voice chimes in and says to stick around for one more announcement from LeBron. It's probably going to be something about the money he raised for charity through this event, or he's going to let Cleveland fans know where he left their collective ripped-out heart.

7:02 - They ask LeBron a fan question sponsored by Vitamin Water. The question: who would win in a game of HORSE, you or President Obama? By the way, did I mention that LeBron's people are controlling every aspect of this event?

7:05 - LeBron thanks the sponsors and mentions how much this event helped the Boys and Girls Club. Unfortunately, no mention on where he left Cleveland's stomped-on heart.

7:11 - LeBron makes his next big announcement: the University of Phoenix president tells LeBron they're making a donation to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America. Seriously, this whole thing is beyond stupid now.

Okay, the show went on for a little bit longer, but I got tired of listening to the same thing over and over again. I'll close with a couple of thoughts.

First, let's get one thing straight -- I don't think LeBron is a douche for going to the Heat. He's a free agent and he can do whatever he wants. That's life. I do, however, think he's a douche for the way he went to the Heat. Instead of just calling a simple news conference or announcing it through the team like most players do, LeBron had his people talk to ESPN and negotiate a one hour special dedicated totally to him. He chose the time, the location, the format, the setting, the sponsors, and even the advertisers for the program. Everything was calculated perfectly so that the LeBron hour would be exactly how he wanted it and done in such a way that would build his brand further. Even at the end of the show, he discussed how he was dedicating money to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America, as if to demonstrate to the world that, hey, he's still a nice guy.

But you know who a real class act is? Kevin Durant, who quietly announced his five-year extension with the Thunder on his Twitter account. Just another reason why I love him and OKC.


Second, Dan Gilbert's letter to the fans of Cleveland was probably one of the funniest things I've ever read. Was it over the top? Probably a little bit. But at the same time, I understand where he's coming from. At the beginning of the free agent bonanza, LeBron said Cleveland had the inside track to re-signing him. That was a pretty bold-faced lie. He also never called or spoke to Gilbert before making his announcement. I think that's a pretty big slap in the face for the team that basically made you a god for your entire career so far to have to wait like everyone else for you to make your announcement.

Third, this Heat team won't win a championship next year. I can just about guarantee you that. They're going to need a couple years to build up a bench and some role guys for LeBron/Wade/Bosh. But I think anything less than two championships over the next five years for this group has to be considered a failure. After all the hype and buildup, there is an enormous expectation on all of them (and rightfully so). And it won't be easy. They still have to go through a really good Bulls team, a really good Magic team, and a still really good Lakers team (not to mention a Thunder team that is on the rise). You think Kobe won't be motivated to beat these guys? I hate that fool, but the last thing I want to do is give him another reason to want to beat me.

In the end, I don't disrespect LeBron the player's decision, but I lost respect for LeBron the person tonight. He seemed like a guy who really wanted to win, who had a positive attitude and a good sense of humor to match. Instead, he's just revealed himself to be another selfish athlete concerned more about himself rather than focusing on the real reason why he should famous in the first place: winning.