You Spoiled Little LA Girls

I attended the Wednesday night game between the Giants and Dodgers with some friends. I thought it would be a nice night out at the ballpark; a time to catch up and just enjoy the game. However, it turned into so much more. I've turned this entry into a running diary of what happened Wednesday night and I invite you to revisit the evening with me. I won't spoil what happens for you, but it involves heckling, a fight, and a girl getting hit in the face. Read on...

Arriving at the park
I pick up Michelle from her office at Pier 9 around 5:40 and we start driving down the Embarcadero to AT&T Park. Michelle is very stressed from work and is lobbing insults and complaining; fairly typical. We finally get to the parking lot around 6:15; yes, that's right -- 30 minutes plus to get down the Embarcadero. Pretty good time, if you ask me. Anyway, we're meeting Curtis, Rachel, Ester, and Steve at the game, but since we're still 45 minutes early, Michelle and I decide to head in ahead of time. We walk around the park once then head up to our seats and quickly realize it's going to be a very, very cold night.

Pregame
It's apparently Carnaval night at tonight's game, so there's some Carnaval drum/dance group performing outside the park, then on the field before the game, then randomly around the ballpark during the game. Michelle gets annoyed with them quickly. I sort of feel the same way; it's pretty much the same drum beat nonstop for about five minutes straight.

Tonight's pitching matchup features your defending NL Cy Young Winner, Tim Lincecum against Eric Stults, who is famous for pretty much nothing. The starting lineups are announced; Manny Ramirez gets a nice round of boos from the crowd. Michelle starts complaining that there are no cute guys on either team. Then Emmanuel Burriss is announced and his face is shown on the big screen.



Emmanuel Burriss is now her favorite player.

First Inning
Lincecum sits the Dodgers down in order...in five pitches. In the bottom half of the inning, the Giants get a rally going and Bengie Molina triples to deep center and drives in two runs.

2-0 Giants

Second Inning
Lincecum sits the Dodgers down in order again. The Giants score a run in the bottom half.

3-0 Giants.

Third Inning
Lincecum sits them down in order yet again. Giants tack on two more. I'm silently thanking God for letting me come to a game where the Giants are capable of scoring. Curtis, Rachel, and Ester arrive with blankets. Those will prove to be crucial tonight. Steve arrives a few minutes later. He starts talking about a no-hitter for Lincecum.

5-0 Giants.

Fourth Inning
Orlando Hudson singles for the Dodgers. There goes the no-hitter.

Sixth Inning
The score remains 5-0 Giants until Edgar Renteria doubles home Fred Lewis.

6-0 Giants.

Seventh Inning
I leave at the end of the sixth to go to the bathroom. I return to find four Dodgers fans sitting in the row in front of us. They're all white girls, probably around 18-19 years old. They also have probably the worst face art I've ever seen. They've written the LA logo on their faces, but it was probably done with a ball point pen. It looks more like something your friends do to you when you fall asleep than something that was done intentionally to look cool.

The girls are talking a little trash, but are quickly reminded that the score is 6-0. They still continue to talk.

After the seventh inning stretch, the girls are starting to heat up a little bit more. But what they fail to understand is that they're sitting in a section that's about 95 percent Giants fans. Everytime they stand up and turn around to say something, they're quickly heckled and drowned out.

Bengie Molina shows his approval by hitting a home run.

7-0 Giants.

Eighth Inning
Around now is when hell starts to break loose. The girls are clearly getting agitated by the heckling that's coming down on them (the constant middle fingers in our direction were an indication of this). Our group has certainly done our fair share to get under their skin. Mind you, they were asking for it. It's not like we picked some random fans to start heckling. There were other Dodger fans around us, but they were just watching the game and staying out of trouble. These girls sat in our section (where they didn't have seats) and began to start talking trash...as their team was getting killed.

Anyway, the Dodger girls start getting into it with our girls. The entire section falls totally quiet, listening and watching. A girl asks Michelle why she's wearing heels to a game, to which Michelle replies (I've slightly edited her response; you can fill in the real word yourself), "I have a job and just came from work, [young lady]. Where'd you come from, the zoo???"

Remember those scenes in 8 Mile when they're doing the freestyle rapping, and whenever one person comes up with a huge diss, the entire crowd goes OHHHHHH. Yeah, that was more or less what was happening in our section; except all the dissing was going in one direction. Actually, remember that scene at the end of 8 Mile when Eminem comes up with the huge diss on the other guy, and the dude can't say anything back and chokes on stage? Yeah, it was more like that.


At this point, the Dodger girls should probably have just left. Would we have jeered them out of their seats? Of course. But it's clear they weren't getting anything accomplished by staying in this section other than getting yelled at and insulted more. Also, I've completely lost track of what's going on in the game and have instead focused my attention on making life hell for these four girls, as have the majority of the Giants fans in our section. Childish? Perhaps. Necessary? Absolutely.

The same Dodger girl who was yelling at Michelle starts going around to other Dodgers fans in the section asking them to come sit with them to try and give them some form of protection. Her requests are denied. Finally, four guys in Dodger caps agree to sit in the row in front of them. The girls cheer and throw up high fives for them...and are left hanging. It's painfully obvious that the guys don't want to sit there. They just feel really bad for those girls. Also, they're not really giving the protection or support these girls want. They pretty much just sit down and watch the game, ignoring everything else that's going on.

Now is when things start to take a turn for the worse. Some Giants fans are throwing peanut shells at the girls now. Again, probably juvenile, but I find it funny nonetheless. One of the Dodger girls then picks up a half full cup of beer and throws it down into the aisle way at the front of the section, nearly hitting an usher. All the Giants fans point at her, yelling for security to take her away. They decide against doing so. A Giants fan sitting next to the girl that threw the cup then calmly tells her not to take the insults personally, and that she shouldn't be throwing things like that. The girl proceeds to get in his face and yell at him. The Giants fan, after remaining calm and collected before, has had enough of this girl's crap and proceeds to THROW HIS BEER IN HER FACE. I've seen this in movies tons of times but let me tell you, it is absolutely something you have to see in person.

My immediate reaction? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. The girl then starts wildly swinging her arms at him, but he doesn't hit her back. He sort of takes her "beating" until one of his friends steps in and breaks them up. Security comes into the section and removes the four girls as well as the hero who sacrificed his beer. Now is when the heavy insults start flying at these girls. I don't remember quite what I yelled at them, but it was probably loosely translated as, "Please leave this section immediately, young ladies. I hope you enjoyed your visit to AT&T Park."

Chants of BEAT LA are raining down now and other people are getting right up in their faces as they're leaving and yelling stuff at them. It's starting to get a bit extreme. Giants fans all around me are throwing up high-fives and whooping it up. The girls continue to yell back and throw up middle fingers, perhaps hoping that will stop everything. I'm pretty hoarse at this point, but have managed to get people around me to sing "Nah-nah-nah-nah Nah-nah-nah-nah HEY HEY HEY GOODBYEEEE!!!" One girl responds by yelling racist comments. Stay classy, ladies.

Eventually, the girls are escorted out and things finally calm back down. I'm no longer cold from the weather but heated from all the excitement. Steve and Curtis perform a re-enactment of the beer throw to rave reviews from our section. Oh yeah, as all this has been going down, the Dodgers scored three runs. After the top of the eighth, the score is 7-3 Giants.

The bottom of the eighth rolls around and one of the Giants fans sitting behind us informs us that one of the Dodger girls is bleeding from her face. Apparently, as she was being led out, someone came from behind her and punched her in the side of the head. Even worse, it appears that it was a guy that did it (not the guy who threw the beer at her). I can see that the girls are still talking with security, but can't see the one who got hit. One of them is crying. I feel a little bad for her...but also, not too bad either. We'll get into this in a minute.

By the way, the Giants score two more runs.

9-3 Giants.

Ninth Inning
Dodgers add one more run before Brian Wilson closes the door on them.

Final score: Giants 9, Dodgers 4. Timmy gets his second win of the season, going seven strong and striking out eight.

Post Game Analysis
Let's start by saying what happened to that one Dodger girl is terrible. You shouldn't come to a baseball game expecting to leave looking like you just went to Fight Club. Also, if it's true that it was a guy that did it, that's even worse. Look, I don't care if that girl insulted your mama. You don't hit women, and ESPECIALLY not with a sucker punch.

Okay, now all that being said, these girls had a lot of this coming and brought it upon themselves. Anytime you come into an opposing team's ballpark, you know that you're going to be in hostile territory. As a result, you need to behave accordingly. If you start dissing the other team, you're going to get dissed back and by a much larger number of people. Also, remember that many of these people have been consuming fair amounts of alcohol, thus affecting the things coming out of their mouths. If you can take it, that's fine. If you can't, then you shouldn't even go there in the first place.

Also, it's important to remember the situation. These girls sat down in our section when the Giants were leading 6-0. There's a time to stand and shout, and there's a time to just sit down and shut up. For these girls, it was the latter. But instead, they instigated the Giants fans around them, trying to talk trash when they were getting destroyed. I'm trying to think of a clever analogy for this, but I can only come up with this: it's like if your team was down six runs, you were in the opposing team's ballpark, and you started talking trash about how much the other team sucked. You better be ready for an ass-whooping.

Now, recognize that the Giants fans in this situation are invincible. Not only do we outnumber these four girls, but we're also killing the Dodgers. It's also in the last few innings, so the game is just about over and the chance of the Dodgers coming back is pretty much non-existant. Again, you need to choose your battles. I've always said I'd never go into a fight I knew I couldn't win (I've never been in a fight so that probably says something about me too, but I can't decide what...). These girls need to heed that advice. This was not a fight they were going to win and they got knocked out in the eighth round (literally).

Anyway, in the end, this was arguably one of the most entertaining games I've ever been to. Look, there's a line of behavior that fans need to be aware of, and both sides crossed it at some point. But I've never been more proud to be a Giants fan.

Beat LA.

A Note to Sharks Fans

This is a very random posting, but it touches on something that's been really bothering me for a couple days. As you may have heard, the San Jose Sharks were knocked out of the playoffs by the Anaheim Ducks earlier this week. This is more newsworthy because the Sharks were the top-ranked team in the Western Conference with the best regular season record in the NHL, and Anaheim was the lowest seed in the West. It's even more newsworthy because this seems to always happen to the Sharks -- a great regular season, but a huge letdown in the playoffs. Mind you, they've been to the Western Conference Finals only once and have never been to the Stanley Cup Finals.

Now, I'm not claiming to be a Sharks fan or even a hockey fan by any means. The night they were knocked out, the Lakers won their first round series against the Jazz. That made me more upset than the Sharks losing did. So you're probably wondering why I'm even bringing this up.

Well after the Sharkies went down, I happened to be on Facebook and was immediately flooded with a bunch of status updates. The majority of them were along the lines of, "Dang, the Sharks lost, but we had a good season. Good job, guys!" I'm not sure I've ever seen quite a group of sad, eternal optimists.

Look, I'm all about holding your head high even in defeat, but this was ridiculous. The ass-kissing fest I saw from Sharks fans was a little absurd. This is the FOURTH straight season that the team has been knocked out early. I don't even watch this team and I know that they have a long history of failure in the playoffs. When it gets to that point that non-fans know your ineptness, that's when it's time to face facts. You can't coddle your team anymore. It's time to get mad because the last few years have been straight up embarrassing.

Sharks fans, here's the deal: you should be pissed off at your team. Another year of failure when the expectations were so high is not a time for conciliatory back pats. It's not a time to say, "Well, maybe next year." It's a time to say, "WTF is going on??" Look, I've been there. I watched the Giants for years struggle with this. They couldn't get out of the first round of the playoffs and it would drive me insane. How could our players not step up? What happened to all the good of the regular season? What the hell is wrong with this team?? CATCH THE BALL, JOSE CRUZ!!!!

A's fans also probably know what I'm talking about. My brother would get pissed as hell every time the A's failed to get out of the first round of the playoffs (which was often, mind you). There just comes a point when getting to the next level isn't enough; you need to actually do something when you get there. When it becomes a pattern of struggle, you can't just think of what a good season it was and be proud of what you accomplished. You need to wake the hell up and realize that this is a serious problem and there's nothing to be proud of.

So Sharks fans, next year when you go to the home opener, and if the team raises a banner honoring their best regular season record for the '08-'09 season, I have a suggestion: boo. That's right. Boo. That thing is worth nothing. NOTHING. It should just serve as a constant reminder of how much this team has failed. So when I watch the highlights on Sportscenter that night (because I'm sure as hell not watching a hockey game on TV), I should hear the Shark Tank filled with loud booing. Kick this team in the butt a little bit. Let your frustrations come out and let them be heard loud and clear. No more encouraging pats on the head and gentle hugs. It's time to be real. If being nice doesn't get the job done, maybe intimidation will.

Anyway, go Sharks.

We've Only Got 24 Hours to Save the World

It's Monday and that means that everyone's favorite terrorist ass-kicker is on TV tonight. Of course, I mean Jack Bauer.


I've been a pretty loyal fan of 24 over the years. Watching Jack Bauer crack skulls and foil terrorist plots has always been good, quality entertainment. But as I've been watching this season unfold, I've reluctantly come to realize that it's about time to wrap up the show and move on. This season hasn't been a terrible one by any means, but watching it has revealed a few problems with the show that are fairly incurable. It's worth noting that there's at least one more season of 24 coming, and then potentially a movie which would most likely mark the end of the series, so apparently the creators of the show are feeling the same way. Anyway, all that being said, here are my four main reasons why it's time to wind down 24 :

1. Every single season is pretty much the same. For the critics of 24, this is one of their primary arguments against the show. For years I defended against this claim, arguing that it's a different organization/terrorist coalition/ethnic group every season, the specific threat each time is something new, and Jack's motives are always unique. But let's be real: it's pretty much the same thing. These are some elements that are common every single year: a huge terrorist threat, traitors inside the organization, the government never believing that Jack is right, Jack turning out to be right, and Jack torturing terrorists (which actually never gets old). And it's not the fault of the writers for not being more creative; it can't be easy to create a completely unique (and plausible) terrorist plot one season to the next. It's just that at this point, they've pretty much exhausted their creative capabilities.

(On a side note, I think Heroes has already fallen into this trap. They've essentially written the same story now three seasons in a row: some super threat is coming, the heroes have to use their powers to find some way to stop it, there's tons of moral/social dilemmas, and everyone keeps switching sides between good and evil. Plus, wasn't it gross when Hayden Panettiere was dating Milo Ventimigilia? I guess they're broken up now, but she was 18 and he was like 30. Come on, dude. Cradle-robbing isn't cool.)

2. Nearly every single main character that was ever on the show has died. Most shows kill off a main character for dramatic effect and to keep the viewers guessing. 24, on the other hand, has a different approach. Rather than randomly kill off characters, the show kills everyone. The game for the audience is no longer trying to figure out who's going to die; it's about who's going to live. I'm almost numb to it now. When characters die, it doesn't even surprise me anymore. And that sucks, dude. You want a cast of characters that you can relate to and either like or not like, not just the main dude. And what's worse, the characters that you kind of want to die don't. Exhibit A: Kim Bauer. Kim is arguably the most annoying character on the show. She always gets in Jack's way when he's trying to save the world and nearly screws everything up for him. Thank God Jack Bauer is Jack Bauer and can still destroy terrorism in spite of his dumb daughter. But I will say this -- Elisha Cuthbert is pretty hot.


3. No one ever listens to Jack. You would think that serving his country loyally and saving the world from potential epic disaster six times (going on seven) would earn a man some respect. Instead, the government just tries to bury the guy and assumes he's always wrong about everything. This includes his theories of what's being conspired by terrorists, what course of action the government should take, and especially his torturing of suspects. (I know that torturing is a touchy subject right now, and I'm not supporting it by any means. But, man, Jack's such a badass when he does it. If pro-torture people ever need an ad to get people on their side, they should just show an episode of 24.) Now I realize that if everyone just listened to Jack, the show would probably be over in about three episodes. But watching everyone ignore Jack is getting old and it's frustrating as hell to watch.

4. 24 needs to go out on top. For whatever reason, trying to show that you can still do it and still perform even when you're past your prime is the "in" thing. (Brett Favre, anyone?) But in terms of TV, you never want to see a show to get to a point where it's obvious that it's not going to get any better, because then the show starts getting desperate and doing really stupid things. 24 isn't at this point yet, but hopefully the producers realize that there's not much further up that the show can go. Let's go out on top. No need to jump the shark.


In spite of everything I've said here, don't let my rant deter you from watching 24. It's still good entertainment and, quite frankly, there's no other show out there that's like it. If there's one thing that 24 has done really well, it's created a show formula that's nearly impossible to duplicate. The real-time format has worked better than most could have imagined and they've created a legendary character in Jack Bauer. I mean, if you were going into a fight, wouldn't you want this guy on your side?

Long live, Jack.

(Miss) California Love

It's been about a week since the last entry and I apologize to those of you who have been patiently waiting. But we're back and better than ever. Well, kind of. At least we're back.

Anyway, as I'm sure all of you know, the Miss USA Pageant took place this past week. Because I know everyone watched it closely, I was going to write an entry breaking down the contestants and their vital stats, what they did right and wrong, and analyze the final results of the pageant. However, there was a moment during the contest that sparked some controversy and I've reluctantly decided to can my original plans and instead just write a piece responding to the said incident. I know you're all sorely disappointed, but don't worry: next year I promise a huge Miss USA Pageant entry. I'm already starting my research.

Anyway, during the question-answer part of this year's pageant, Carrie Prejean, a.k.a. Miss California, was asked this question by judge number eight, celebrity gossip columnist Perez Hilton: "Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize gay marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?" Prejean responded by saying that while she thought it was great that in America, a person had the choice between one or the other, it was her personal belief that marriage was meant to be between a man and a woman. (Here's the video.)

Okay, let's clear a couple of things up. First, she's incorrect when she says Americans have the option for gay marriage. Only some Americans have that option; those who live in those states where it's been legalized. Also, she called marriage between a man and a woman "opposite marriage". I assume she was going for "opposite sex marriage". Okay, so the girl isn't the brightest bulb in the box. We still get the general idea of what she meant. And since she's pretty, we'll let that slip-up slide.

Now with all that being said, while I personally don't agree with Prejean's stance, I don't really have a problem with her answer. This is America and everyone is allowed to have their own opinions on all issues. And believe it or not, people, but even the opinions you don't agree with are allowed to be spoken.

After the pageant, Hilton (who is openly gay) increased the controversy by recording a video message on his blog basically saying that he was upset by Prejean's answer not because she doesn't support gay marriage, but because she didn't answer the question appropriately. In his mind, Prejean should have answered the questions in terms of federal versus state jurisdiction, not in terms of whether it was right or wrong. Hilton went on further to call her names and use words so foul that it'll probably take a Costco pack of Orbit to clean that dirty mouth.


Look, Hilton is right that she didn't exactly answer the question. But the way that the question was phrased basically forced Prejean to put out her position on the issue. Now, it was my understanding that the purpose of these questions was to test the thoughtfulness of the contestants. But this question tested her opinion. She was put in a terrible position. When the question was posed to her by Hilton, she knew what answer he wanted to hear. In that moment, she had to make a decision: give the "right" response, or stay true to her beliefs. She chose the latter and perhaps cost herself the crown in the process (she was the first runner-up). And it's important to remember that it's not like she slandered gays and gay marriage in her response. If you watch the video, she simply answered the question in a very respectful manner, albeit not the most eloquent.

One thing that I think we should also consider is that Prejean is from California. While the same-sex marriage proposition failed in California this past November, it's no secret that California is one of the most left-leaning states in the country. There's no doubt that Miss California's answer was unpopular among many of her fellow state residents. But what if the contestant had been, say, Miss Alabama? Would her response have gotten as much attention as it did? Probably not, and that's what makes this more unfair to Miss California. As many people as I know in California that support gay marriage, I probably know just as many that oppose it. In my opinion, the societal "expectations" of our state forced her even more into a situation where there was no way out.

Now in the big picture, who even really cares what a pageant queen thinks about this issue? Hell, I didn't even know that the Miss USA pageant was even on. I mean, do people actually watch it? And what does Miss USA even do? If you know, please fill me in because I'm kind of intrigued now. Anyway, the point is that it's pretty clear that this whole thing has been blown way out of proportion. She's one person with one opinion.

In spite of that, people still seem to want to crucify this woman for what she said. But Rich Tafel of Log Cabin Republicans (which as far as I can tell is a left-leaning Republican organization which supports gay marriage) made an interesting point. In a running conversation on the New York Times website, Tafel writes, "As the tide turns in favor of gay equality, what a sad victory it will be if we become the new bullies. We lose the moral high ground that propelled our cause. Calling this woman an unprintable name as Perez Hilton did is indefensible. The crime here is not that people have opinions we disagree with. The crime is treating those who disagree with us with the same incivility that they treated us to."

Something to keep in mind.

Anyway, I know this entry was kind of deep and not really in the tone that I normally aim for. I realize some people might be disappointed as a result. But I have a gold nugget of comic relief. In the spirit of pageants, I present Miss Teen South Carolina 2007. Enjoy.

(P.S. I promised Joan Hwang a shout out, so I'd like to say hi to her now. Hi, Joan. Thanks for following the blog.)

NBA Playoff Preview

I started working on this post the other night; nothing too indepth or really thoughtful, just organizing some of my thoughts and writing a few solid paragraphs. Then I got to work yesterday and the first thing I did was go to ESPN.com (because doing work first thing when you get to work is ridiculous). It was there that I discovered the news that Kevin Garnett might be out for the entire playoffs. The first thought that came into my head was that I was going to have to start this thing all over. Damn.

Anyway, the NBA regular season has finally come to a close and it's time for the playoffs. And once again, I have very little interest in what happens since the Warriors barely missed the postseason this year with their stellar 29-53 record.

Let's just talk about the Warriors for one second. This season sucked. When Baron left and we panicked and signed Corey Maggette, I knew the season was over. Then when Monta got hurt riding his freaking scooter, I knew the season was REALLY over. So what do we need to do for next year? My friend Steve and I came up with three basic things: First, stay healthy. The Warriors were incapable of doing so this year. Second, aside from Monta, Andris Biedrins, Captain Jack, Anthony Randolph, and Kelenna Azubuike, the Warriors have our blessing to trade anyone else for decent talent. Third, get a true point guard so that Monta can play the two, and pray that we win the lottery so we get Blake Griffin.

Also, Steve suggested trading Marco Belinelli for some basketballs.

Actually, now that I think about it, there's one more thing that the Warriors need to do: bring back "The City" jerseys. Those are the best throwback jerseys in the NBA; I can't believe we don't wear them anymore. Let's be real here -- we have probably among the bottom-five worst regular jerseys in the league. I hate our logo, I hate our colors, and I really hate the orange alternate jersey we wear. Warriors management, if you're listening, you have to bring back The City.


Got it? Good. See you next season.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's take a look at this year's playoff picture. First, the Eastern Conference. Before KG's injury, everyone assumed that it was going to be Boston or Cleveland in the Finals. And now after KG's injury, I know a lot of people are quick to write off the Celtics. But I don't think we should quite yet. This is still a pretty good team. Paul Pierce has no problem taking the rock in his hands and can absolutely take control of a game, and Rajon Rondo has quietly become one of the better point guards in the NBA. Trust me, I had both these guys on my fantasy team. The problem with Pierce is that he can't keep up his strong performances night in and night out; he's going to have off nights and that's a problem without KG to pick up the slack. Rondo's problem is that while his assist and steal numbers are generally good, his shooting is still very streaky. Trust me, I had both these guys on my fantasy team. The x-factor will be Ray Allen and if he can shoot the lights out. If he can, the Celtics are still dangerous. If not, well...

But all that being said, I still think the Cavs are going to the Finals, with or without KG on the Celtics roster. It's just a matter of how many games it's going to take.

Now let's look at the Western Conference. The Lakers are going to the Finals. The end. No really, there's no one else. But what in the hell happened to the Western Conference? Remember last year when this conference was ridiculously deep and strong? Exhibit A: the Warriors won 48 freaking games in 2008, finished in ninth place, and missed the playoffs. Everyone expected more of the same this year out of the West, but instead only the Lakers showed that they were a real threat to be champions. Everyone else came out flat. Exhibit B: the Warriors won only 29 games this year and still finished in TENTH PLACE. That means that there were essentially only nine teams in the hunt for eight playoff positions all season. It also means that there were still five teams that sucked worse than the Warriors. I can't decide if that should make me feel better about their season or not.

But that's neither here nor there. If I had to pick a team or two that could possibly knock the Lakers out before the Finals, I'd choose the Spurs and Blazers. I say San Antonio only because they've won it so many times that you really can't count them out, although a banged up Duncan and no Manu really hurts their chances. And I say Portland because even though they're young, they're good. And that guy Brandon Roy? He's REALLY good. Still, it's probably going to be the Lakers out of the West.

By the way, just for the record, I really hate the Lakers. I can't stand Kobe. But you know who I hate most on the Lakers? Luke Walton. This guy acts like he's the second best player on the team, going around high-fiving and chest bumping his teammates, acting like he knows what it feels like to have just made a huge play. Just watch it during the playoffs; you'll see what I'm talking about. This was his stat line this season: 5.0 points per game, 2.8 rebounds per game, and 2.7 assists per game. We know you're really happy that Kobe could potentially carry you to a championship, Luke, but everyone knows you suck. So stop it.

Anyway, that leaves an NBA Finals of the Cavs and Lakers. Looking at this matchup, I think that home court advantage (which goes to the Cavs) will play a huge role in this series. I don't say this just because the Cavs lost only twice at home all season (although that does help). I say it largely because the 2-3-2 setup of the series favors the Cavs. If you don't know what that means, the series starts with two games in Cleveland, then three in a row in LA, then the last two in Cleveland. You have to think that the Cavs will win at least one of those games at Staples, because winning three in a row no matter what the location is going to be really tough. That means in order for the Lakers to win the Finals, they'll have to win at least two games in Cleveland. That's a pretty tall order. That's not to say they can't do it, but in Cleveland the crowd is obviously against them, LeBron is going to feed off of that, and he's going to get a lot more calls in his favor.

Also, in my opinion, LeBron James is on a mission this year. He's been to the Finals before and fallen short. But he's got a better supporting cast now (namely Mo Williams) and he's even better now than he was two years ago. And with all the talk this year about him going to New York in 2010, I think he's determined to show everyone that he's still focused on basketball and on winning championships...before he goes to New York in 2010 and tries to take over the world.


Cavs in 2009.

If it's Thursday, it must mean...

That's right. It's Thursday and The Office is on tonight! Now, I don't watch a whole lot of TV, but The Office is one of the few shows that I follow consistently. (Okay, I actually watch way too much TV and probably follow too many shows. I just thought it sounded better to say that I don't really watch TV because it totally makes me appear smarter and more refined or something, right?) Anyway, I don't really have anything to say in particular about the upcoming episode other than to remind people to watch, but I wanted to comment briefly on last week's episodes.

I'll be honest -- I've sort of felt that The Office has been kind of off its game this season. Yes, there were some great moments (Jim proposing to Pam and Dwight and Bill Buttlicker) and even some great episodes (especially the one after the Super Bowl), but all in all, I've felt that it's been kind of an inconsistent season. And then last week's two episodes came on and my faith in the show was restored.

While both were great, I found "The Michael Scott Paper Company" episode in particular to be one of the funniest in recent memory. There were three golden moments for me:

First, when Michael drives up blasting Lady Gaga's "Just Dance" then turns to the camera and says, "It's Britney, bitch."

Second, Michael's inspirational quote on the whiteboard in the new office which reads: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. -Wayne Gretzky" -Michael Scott.

And finally, Dwight and Andy trying to impress the new receptionist with their renditions of John Denver's "Country Roads". The expressions on her face are priceless.

Anyway, enjoy The Office tonight. By the way, it's the 100th episode! So get your Party Planning Committee on it.

Welcome

Hello and welcome to my blog. Since it's the first entry, some people might think it would be an appropriate time to introduce myself. But that would be pretty boring because I'm pretty boring. And, quite frankly, this blog isn't really supposed to be about my life. This is really just a place for my random rants about pretty much everything. I won't lie -- there's going to be a fair amount of sports because it's what I know best. But there will also be lots of room for other topics, including politics (when I know what I'm talking about),world events (which I try to keep up with so I can act like I know what I'm talking about), and pop culture (which I probably know far too much about).

Also, you may be wondering about the title of the blog. Here's the answer: according to Wikipedia, a Sunday Punch is a boxing term for "a destructive blow to an opponent." Basically, it's a fancy way to describe a knockout punch. I thought it was a pretty cool phrase and I'm all about trying to appear cool. As a side note, when I Googled "Sunday Punch" one of the search results was a Filipino newspaper. How they came up with that name for a periodical, I have no idea. But for those of you who were trying to get caught up with your Filipino current events, I'm sorry to say that you've come to the wrong place.

Anyway, I was trying to come up with a good entry to start this blog off right. And then I thought back to something that happened to me a couple weeks ago and it should pretty much set the tone for what's to come in the future.

It was a Thursday night and I had just gone to the Giants-A's exhibition game at AT&T Park with my friend Wiley. After the game, I stopped at his new place to check it out and just chill for a while. Around midnight, I realized it was getting pretty late so I decided to head back home. I got into my car, pulled out of the parking lot, and stopped at the red light. As I was waiting for the light to change, I saw a woman on the sidewalk waiting as well. She started mouthing something to me which I couldn't understand, so I rolled down the window and asked what was up. She asked if I could give her a ride because she was low on money and it was so cold outside.

Now, before I continue the story, it's important to note that Wiley lives at the Berkeley-Oakland border near San Pablo Ave. The area certainly isn't the most affluent, but it's not the worst place I've ever been in my life either. Also, the woman wasn't threatening or shady looking by any means. She was a white woman, probably mid to late 30s, average height and build. Plus, it was really cold outside. I had just spent three hours at the ballpark so I knew it was freezing.

Okay, so even with all that taken into account, I should have just said "no" and been on my way. Who knew if the woman was packing heat or something, right? But against my better judgement and because I felt sorry for her being trapped outside in the cold, I reluctantly agreed to give her a ride. Yes, I am a moron. (By the way, I know some people might think I gave her a ride because she might have been hot. Trust me, she wasn't. Let's just get that straight right now.)

So she gets in and directs me which way to go. The following is the exact conversation between me and her:

Woman: Thanks so much for the ride. It's so cold outside, I really appreciate it.
Me: Yeah, no problem. Don't worry.
Woman: So do you want some head or anything?
Me: .............................. Um, no I'm okay, thanks.
Woman: Are you sure?
Me: ...........................Uh, yeah. I'm really sure.

Now some of you have probably figured out the situation at this point, but it still hadn't dawned on me. I figured that because she had no money to repay me for the ride, this was her way of trying to thank me. Again, I am a moron. Let's continue...

Woman: [Kind of disappointed] Okay, well can you drop me off at the gas station up the block there?
I look over at her and can see from her face that she's definitely high on something.
Me: Uh, yeah. Sure.
As I pull the car over, it's all starting to click in my head...
Woman: Do you think you could at least give me a dollar to buy a condom? I might need it later tonight.
It finally all falls into place for me...
Me: [thinking: HOLY FREAKING SON OF A MOTHER. SHE'S A HOOKER. THERE'S A HOOKER IN MY CAR.] Uh....yeah, sure...
I hand her a dollar and realize how terrible this looks.
Hooker: Thanks. I'm just hoping someone can take me in tonight...get a hotel room or take me home....
Me: [thinking: WTFWTFWTFWTF] Mmhmm... Yeah...I see....
After about a 15 second pause where neither of us says anything (and she's waiting for me to reconsider her offer and I'm waiting for her to leave) she finally opens the door to get out.
Hooker: Well, thanks again. I really appreciate it.
Me: ...Yeah...no problem...

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, in my attempts to be a Good Samaritan, I inadvertantly picked up a hooker. As soon as she closed the door, I pulled out of there and drove the hell off. My initial feeling was relief to have the hooker out of my car. But as I made the U-turn to drive back home, I saw her walking over to a building doorway and sit down on the front steps, presumably to sleep for the night. I felt bad so I drove back to her and gave her the last of my cash to help her out (WITHOUT her services in return). Look, I don't condone prostitution, but seeing it first hand made me realize how sad and desperate the situation is for some people out there. So many people have so little hope that they need any help they can get.

Plus, it's one hell of a story.

Anyway, kids, the lesson here is never pick up strange women. I know some of you may have thought about it, but learn from me, it's never a good idea. And just in case some of you may have doubted if this woman was actually a hooker, here's the conversation that occurred when I drove back to give her some cash.

Me: Hey! Take this. It's not much, but it's all that I have.
Hooker: You're not a cop, are you?

Clearly the bar has been set high for this blog.