The Rundown

I've realize that I've been neglecting my blog and so much has been happening recently. I apologize for my laziness, so hopefully a wide-ranging entry will start to make up for it...

Transformers: Back to Blow Stuff Up and Take Your Money in the Process
I don't really have too much to say about this since I haven't seen the movie yet, but it's arguably the most anticipated one of the summer. Reviews for the sequel aren't that awesome, which should probably be expected. But it's not like the first movie was a brilliant piece of movie making either. Yeah the effects and action were awesome, but the plot was mediocre and the script was pretty weak. Seriously, watch the first one again -- you'll eventually just find yourself laughing out loud at how terrible some of the dialogue is. Look, this isn't to say that I didn't enjoy Transformers, and I know I'm going to watch the second one and probably like it as well, but let's just try and be honest with ourselves when we walk out of the theater. However, one thing everyone can agree on: Megan Fox is fiiine.


Jon Minus Kate (Plus 8)
My fandom of this show is well documented, so lots of people were asking me what I thought about the JK+8 announcement. For those that don't know, America's long-developing nightmare finally came to fruition this week as Jon and Kate officially parted ways and filed for divorce. As a fan, I was rooting for them and hoping that somehow they'd make it through all this. But I have to admit that after a while, all of this got so ridiculous and given so much attention that it became more annoying than interesting. One thing is absolutely clear: this show changed who Jon and Kate were. Kate used to be the stay at home mom whose job was to care for all her kids and maintain order. And she was really good at it, showing love for her family but also keeping them going and in line. But now she travels constantly, doing her book tours, signing autographs, giving interviews, wearing her diva sunglasses; she's fully embracing her celebrity at the cost of her previous role as an always-there mother. Jon, on the other hand, seems like he just wants to get away from everything that's happened since this show began. He's going out to clubs, (allegedly) having an affair with a 20-something year old girl, and spending less and less time with the family. He also appears to be having a mid-life crisis, as was evident when he came on the show with his ears pierced. It was like watching an axe murderer kill someone in a horror movie -- it's painful to see, but you really can't help but look. Anyway, in the end, this show that was once about watching how a family managed and coped with the craziness of twins and sextuplets is now about watching the collapse of a marriage.

North Korea Dun Lost its Mind...Again
For some reason, people have been asking me quite a bit what I think of the whole North Korea situation. Maybe they do this because I'm Korean? If that's the case, clearly they don't know me that well, otherwise they would know that I'm just about the worst Korean ever. Seriously. My Spanish is better than my Korean. Anyway, in my opinion, there's only one way to describe North Korea: a whiny, bratty child who wants attention and pampering and does annoying things to get you to watch them, and when you stop paying attention, they threaten to launch nuclear weapons at you. Look, North Korea knows that if it were to ever actually attack the U.S., America would bomb it back to the stone age. And it would take about three hours to do it. But because North Korea has such dangerous technology, it knows that they can't be ignored, so they use it as a way of getting others to pay attention. It's not the most mature way to handle international relations, but it has proven effective. And in this game, that's all that really matters.

Giants-A's Game Recap
I went to the Giants-A's game with my brother the other night and wanted to share a few thoughts and observations.
1) The worst things in the world are those half-Giants/half-A's hats that some people wear to these games. For the love of all that's right in the world, CHOOSE A SIDE. You people that wear those hats are like Confederate soldiers who, upon realizing that the Civil War was lost, pretended like they were pro-Union and not actually a bunch of Southern rednecks. Is that who you want to be?? And I know defenders of the hat will have this retarded argument: "Oh but if you support both teams, you can't lose!" Okay, you moron, you also CAN'T WIN. You might be wearing the winning team's logo, but you're also wearing the losing team's logo too! At the next Giants-A's game, I'll be holding a pregame burning of all those hats. Please come join me.
2) It was apparently celebrity look-alike night at the Coliseum. Here's a quick rundown of who we saw: Paul Wall look-alike, Sean Paul look-alike, and the lead singer of the Strokes look-alike. Actually, now that I think about it, it could very well have actually been them when you consider that none of them has been really making music lately...
3) We saw an underage kid get busted by a security guard for sneaking alcohol in. I laughed. But you know who should really be trying to sneak alcohol in? People who are actually of legal drinking age. I mean, come on... eight dollars for a beer?!
4) And one final observation: Giants fans' team clothing article of choice? Official team jacket, retail value: $120-$140. A's fans' team clothing article of choice? Shirt that was given away at previous game promotion, retail value: $0. And people wonder why the A's are poor as dirt?? And for some reason, A's fans take pride in the fact that the majority of them dress like homeless people. But I guess that what they wear matches the stadium they play in, so it makes sense in the end.
Oh yeah, the Giants won 6-3, taking the season series 5 games to 1.
Go Giants.

If you're a sports fan, you'll appreciate this video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exOxUAntx8I

Team USA Beats Spain...in Soccer?
It's incredible -- not the fact that the US beat Spain, but the fact that the moment the US soccer team does something good, everyone is apparently a huge soccer fan. Look, dude, I'm all about rooting for Team USA and wanting to see them succeed. I'd love to see them make some real noise in a World Cup someday. But I don't act like I'm a diehard fan, which is what many of my friends on Facebook apparently are. How many of you fools actually knew what the Confederations Cup was before this tournament? Be real -- the only confederation you knew was the south during the aforementioned Civil War. Let's get two things straight: first, USA soccer is still not very good. Yes, beating a powerhouse like Spain is nice, but it's more fluke than an actual indication of improvement. Even the Clippers manage to beat teams every now and then. It doesn't mean that they're any good. Second, this win will mean almost nothing if the US gets beat down by Brazil in the final, and there's a very good chance of that happening. Remember LeBron's shot to beat the Magic in Game Two of the Conference Finals? Remember how everyone thought it was a defining moment in his career? Remember how the Magic then whooped the Cavs the rest of the way? Remember how that shot means absolutely nothing now? Yep. Me too.

Speaking of King James...

LeBron and The Big Tweeter


Okay, on paper, the Shaq to Cleveland deal looks like a great move. Shaq showed this year that he can still bang and be a dominant big man, and God knows that the Cavs will need that against Dwight Howard. He's a definite upgrade from Sideshow Bob (aka Anderson Varejao) and Big Z, and I can see him and LeBron getting along great together. But Shaq isn't what the Cavs need most; what they really need is an above average to dominant swingman who can play the 2 or 3 and create his own shots. Mo Williams was supposed to provide some of that relief, but he came up empty in the Conference Finals. Plus, he's a natural point guard and not a take-it-to-the-bucket scorer. How this all plays out, I don't know. Yes, it helps the Cavs for sure, and they basically acquired Shaq for nothing. But I'll believe in it when I see it on the court first.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson


When I heard about Michael's death, it took me a while to believe it. Stunning? Sad? Yes, absolutely. Michael Jackson was an incredibly influential musician and a fantastic entertainer. That will be his legacy first and foremost. However, he was also a very strange and disturbed man. No matter how often people told him what he was doing was inappropriate, and no matter how often he was the butt of jokes and parody, Michael never thought what he was doing was wrong. In reality, there were two parts of his life: the old Michael that everyone loved to watch and listen to, and the new Michael that everyone thought was out of his freaking mind. Nonetheless, rest in peace, Mike. And let's end on a positive note. The Gloved One obviously had his share of hits, but my personal favorite will always be "P.Y.T."

Pretty Young Things, repeat after me!

The New Louis Vuitton Don

For those of you aren't as hip as I am, the man in that photo is Mikhail Gorbachev. As a quick history refresher, MG was a major player in ending the Cold War in the late 80s and early 90s, and was the last president of the Soviet Union. For his work, he won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1990. Now all that is well and good, but if you had asked me when I began this blog what the chances of Mikhail Gorbachev showing up in one of my entries would be, I'd probably say somewhere in the neighborhood of "none" and "absolutely none." But there he is, in all his glory.

Okay, so you're wondering why he's here. Well, I came upon an old issue of Time (the Barack Obama inauguration issue) and on the back cover was this picture. That might not seem that odd, but I realized that it was actually an ad for Louis Vuitton. Yes, Mikhail Gorbachev, former President of the Soviet Union, is an LV model.

I don't really know what to make of this. I guess it's sort of cool in that it's not your typical advertisement on really ANY level, but I think it's just more weird than anything else. I don't know much about MG, but from what I've read on Wikipedia, it sounds like he was a good guy for the most part. Still, I can't imagine someone is going to look at that ad and think to themselves, "OMG...I have to get that LV bag because Mikhail Gorbachev has it..."

I do have one theory: we all know that Kanye West and other heavyweights in the hip-hop industry love to rock (and rap about) LV. Maybe Louis Vuitton is scared of this image and afraid of becoming associated with the hip-hop culture. So instead, they're trying to reach out to a demographic that has been given little, if any, attention or privilege in this world: old, white men.

Upon further research, we shouldn't even be surprised by Gorbachev showing up in an advertisement. Turns out, a few years ago, he did a commercial for Pizza Hut, of all places. Watch out, Peyton Manning. MG's coming at you for your crown of most products pimped by one human being.



I'll close with two thoughts on the NBA Finals...

Thought #1: A Lakers fan was recently gloating to me about their championship, which I'm fine with. They won, they have the right. But he said a word to me which I found particularly troubling: dynasty. Uh... if there's one thing that this team is NOT, it's a dynasty. You don't go on a run of championships when your team consists of: players so clearly on the decline (Derek Fisher, Lamar Odom), role players that can't even fulfill the roles they were brought in to play (Sasha Vujacic, Shannon Brown), only one guy that is probably going to sustain his level of play for the next few years (Pau Gasol), a star player who is already in the home stretch of his career (Kobe Bryant), and Adam Morrison (Adam Morrison).

Also, I was reading a Bill Simmons column and I think he summed this team up best: the '09 Lakers felt like an arrangement. These guy far from love each other, but they sucked it up and did what they had to do to win. That's all well and good; a lot of teams are able to do that and win a championship in the end. But think about some of the most well-known sports dynasties: the early 2000 Pistons, the Patriots, the pre-A-Rod Yankees, the Red Sox... all these teams had this element in common: they actually liked playing with each other. Off the court, Kobe says all the right things, smiles a lot, and gives credit to his teammates and his coach. On the court, Kobe looks like he's about to go serial killer on all of them. I'm no Dr. Phil, but that can't be a healthy relationship.

Thought #2: The Lakers victory parade was the other day, and it reminded me of a moment in Lakers' history that will live on forever: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgOQO5MilfI

Who let the dogs out?!?!?

Ramblings

People have pointed out to me that I've been slacking on writing new blog entries and for that I apologize. There are two factors that have caused this. First, I've sort of been at a loss for things to write about. I normally like to talk about some current issue or topic, but it's been kind of boring on that front lately. So I think I'm just going to go the emo teenager route here and blame the world for that problem. Second, as much as I've tried to resist it, I've had a lot more work lately which, in turn, can kill my motivation to put in the effort for an entry. But never fear, my friends. In an act of defiance and protest against the man, I'm actually writing this while I sit at work right now. Fight the power.

Anyway, this is a relatively short entry that doesn't have any specific point or topic, but I'm going to just share a few thoughts with you, the loyal reader. Onwards...

-I had actually wanted to do a running diary of the French Open men's final so I could talk about Roger Federer completing the career grand slam and tying Pete Sampras' mark of 14 majors. But since it's the French Open and it's in France, the match was on at 6 a.m. Pacific time and I wasn't able to force myself out of bed and to the TV until 7:30 a.m. Just another reason to hate the French. Anyway, congrats to Roger.

-Monday was Kanye West's birthday, so happy (belated) birthday, Mr. West. To celebrate, I'm going to offer a tribute in the form of my favorite moments in the career of the Louis Vuitton Don.
My favorite Kanye song: Touch the Sky. Love the sample, love the beat, love the lyrics. Also, the first song that really introduced Lupe Fiasco.
My favorite Kanye video: All Falls Down. I'm not really sure what exactly makes this my favorite video, but I do know this: Stacy Dash is fine. (Good Morning gets an honorable mention here.)
My favorite Kanye meltdown: Kanye at LAX. Notice his custom made Louis Vuitton backpack. If you're going to go down, you may as well look good doing it.
My favorite Kanye political statement: George Bush doesn't care about black people. As if there could be another choice. I think that the look on Mike Myers' face after Kanye says it is the best part of the video. And then Chris Tucker tries to act like he didn't hear what Kanye said and does his best to play it cool. By the way, does anyone else realize that Chris Tucker hasn't done any movies except Rush Hour movies for the past eight or nine years? I'm not advocating for more Chris Tucker movies, but I think that it's kind of weird.

(Okay, I just looked it up on Wikipedia and Tucker's getting paid $20 million a movie. Yeah, if I could get away with only having to make the same movie three times in a row and get $20 million each time, I'd absolutely do it too.)

Also, since we're talking about Kanye West, I need to say one thing: if you own a pair of those shutter shade sunglasses that he made so popular from the Graduation album, you need to stop wearing them immediately. They're not cool or in anymore. Actually, I'm going to go ahead and say that, unless you were in the "Stronger" music video, it was never actually that cool to be wearing them. And now? You just look like an idiot wearing them. That album came out almost two years ago. It's time to move on.

-Conan O'Brien made his debut as the host of The Tonight Show last week and all I can say is that it's good to have him back on the air. Here are my late night talk show host power rankings based on how funny the show and host are:
1. Conan O'Brien
2. David Letterman
3. Jimmy Kimmel
4. Jay Leno
5. Craig Ferguson
9483761. Jimmy Fallon

I have yet to meet a person who thinks Fallon is funny. The dude is a freaking tool. It offends me that The Roots are his house band and, quite honestly, it makes me lose some respect for The Roots.

-I think I'm officially bored by the NBA Finals. You want to know what I found most interesting about Game 2? This was the text message exchange between me and my brother in the fourth quarter:

My Brother: Adam Morrison is going crazy on the bench
Me: I know. What a scrub.
My Brother: Why is he wearing the same clothes every game?
Me: I know, right? I was thinking the same thing.
Me: But you have to love JJ Redick. Pass him the rock more.

Basically, I'm finding Adam Morrison and JJ Redick being in the NBA Finals more interesting than anything else in this series. (Also, I'm not ashamed to admit that I went crazy when Redick hit that three. It brought back fond memories of when he was at Duke and still a good player). When does football season start?

-Wait, wait, wait.... are you telling me that Cap'n Crunch isn't a real captain either?!?!?!

The Most Important NBA Finals Preview Ever

As Nike and Vitamin Water try to forget about their respective failed "LeBron vs. Kobe" ad campaigns, the rest of us can think about the actual NBA Finals that gets under way tonight. Even though everyone wanted to see LeBron and Kobe go at each other, I actually think that the Magic-Lakers matchup will make for a more competitive series. Think about this: if not for BronBron's last second three in Game 2, the Magic would have swept the Cleveland LeBrons.

Yes, Orlando is still the underdog going into the Finals, but remember how Lakers fans were all hoping that the Magic would somehow sneak into the Finals so that LA would avoid LeBron and have an easy road to the championship? Uh, yeah, you can hear the nervousness in their voices now when they talk about having to play the Magic.

Anyway, I've done a lot of analyzing (aka watched a lot of SportsCenter) and have come up with the five most important players in the NBA Finals. Remember, it's not the five BEST players; just the five whose performance will have the greatest impact. Also, there's two honorable mentions for guys who just missed making the list. Without further ado...

5. Rashard Lewis. I had Rashard Lewis on my fantasy team this year and he was always a solid contributer. But there's something about this guy that prevents people from believing he's a star. Maybe it's because he's never played in the right market, maybe it's because he's not flashy enough, or maybe it's because he doesn't have the greatest attitude. I don't really know, but he's going to need to hit his threes if the Magic are going to have a chance. Dwight Howard's going to attract a lot of attention down low, so the Magic three-point shooting needs to keep up its performance from the Cavs series.

4. Kobe Bryant. Some people might be surprised to see Kobe so low on this list, but the reality is that he's not the most important factor for the Lakers to win. Yes, it's crucial that he performs well, but does anyone expect him not to? He's going to get his points and he's going to make some great plays. But if the Magic-Cavs series taught us anything, it was that Orlando has no problem letting the star do his thing as long as the rest of the team can't do squat. LeBron did probably everything humanly possible in that series to help the Cavs win (the dude nearly averaged a triple double a game!!!) but the rest of the squad looked like a high school JV basketball team out there. That said, the Lakers have better offensive weapons than the Cavs did, but it's up to those guys to get it done.

3. Pau Gasol/Andrew Bynum. After the Lakers knocked off the Nuggets in Game 6, Pau Gasol was interviewed by ESPN sideline reporter Shelley Smith. She commented that after his strong performance, no one could call Gasol soft anymore. It was, without a doubt, the LOL moment of the NBA Playoffs. Look, I don't care if Gasol scores 50 points and grabs 20 rebounds a game; that fool is softer than the Pillsbury Doughboy. Now imagine him having to stop Dwight Howard. I'm pretty sure Howard's arms are thicker than Gasol's body. This is where Andrew Bynum comes in. In theory, Bynum is stronger than Gasol, athough after what we've seen so far in the playoffs, that's questionable at best. In order for the Lakers to have success against Howard, Gasol's going to have to man up a good deal and Bynum is going to have to overcome his disease that prevents him from playing well in the playoffs. Speaking of Superman...

2. Dwight Howard. In the series against the Cavs, Dwight scored at least 24 points in five of six games (including a 40 point effort in Game Six). But perhaps more impressive (and important) is that fact that he's been shooting his free throws pretty freaking well. If he can keep that up, the hack-a-Dwight strategy is useless and it adds an important extra element to the Magic offense. There's also no doubt in my mind he can defend Gasol and Bynum (probably at the same time). Just stay out of foul trouble, big boy, because the Magic bench lacks depth especially at the center position.

1. Lamar Odom. Yes, that's right. Lamar Odom is the x-factor of this series. This guy has a real serious Jekyll and Hyde thing going on. You're never sure when the still-capable-of-being-a-decent-player-Lamar is going to play, and when the way-past-his-prime-and-now-a-crappy-player-Lamar is going to play. But when the former shows up and scores more than 10 points, the Lakers are 6-1. Lamar is not a star on this team anymore by any stretch of the imagination, but it's up to him how well this team will perform in the Finals. How Lakers fans will react to that fact, I'm not sure. But it's probably something along the lines of how Brad Pitt reacted in Seven upon finding out his wife's head was in the box, and he didn't know whether to remain calm, cry, or shoot Kevin Spacey.


What's in the box?!?!?!

Honorable Mentions

Jameer Nelson
There's a lot of talk that Nelson's going to be back for the Finals which is pretty remarkable considering he suffered a torn labrum in February. No one should expect him to crack the starting rotation, but if he can provide maybe 15 minutes or so off the bench, I think it'll be a huge lift for the Magic, especially considering Rafer Alston has the mental fortitude of an immature teenager.

JJ Redick and Adam Morrison
I already mentioned this in my Facebook status once, but who says the 2006 NBA Draft was a bust?! Look at them!


Just remember this: one of these guys is going to win a championship before LeBron does. Get those puppets ready.