The Official Jonathan Sanchez No-Hitter Running Diary

As promised, I'm delivering a retro-running diary of Jonathan Sanchez's no-hitter last Friday, arguably the best sporting event I've ever attended. As a reminder, I write for a publication that covers the Giants and thus graces me with a media credential for all their home games. I say this to explain why I'm in the press box, on the field, etc. Anyway, come with me as we re-visit the no-no...

Pregame
I arrive about an hour or so before game time and pull into the assigned media parking lot. Apparently there's a carnival that's set up shop in one of the other lots, though, and that means I have to park back at Pier 30/32. Upon being told this, I give the parking attendant some attitude because it just took me about 20-plus minutes to drive down the freaking Embarcadero, and now I have to back track about five or six blocks. I think to myself that this can't be a good omen for the night to come.

I finally make it back to the park and as I'm walking down the hallway, I pass Jon Miller (the radio play-by-play announcer for the Giants). He looks more roley poley in person than he does on TV; and he's also wearing a cardigan sweater with shorts and flip-flops -- it screams old white man. I guess that's one of the advantages of doing radio -- you can wear whatever the hell you want. I say hi to him and wish him a good call for the game tonight.

I walk out onto the field as the Padres are finishing up batting practice. I don't really have any reason to be out there; no Giants are on the field, and I don't need to do any interviews or anything like that. Honestly, I just walk around because I can. I don't say that to sound like a jerk; I just figure that I should take advantage of opportunities like that.

Anyway, your starting pitcher for the Giants tonight is Jonathan Sanchez. As we all recall, Jonny had some trouble earlier this year with his command and was forced out of the rotation a few weeks ago. But with Randy Johnson injured, Sanchez will be getting another shot this evening. He'll be taking on the San Diego Padres, who have managed the impossible: they actually have a worse offense than the Giants.

Dinner Time
I decide to eat the media dinner that is available (for a fee of course... it would be preposterous for a professional baseball team that makes millions of dollars a year to actually give something away for free). On the menu tonight: fried chicken, mashed potatoes, salad, fish, sandwiches, cookies, and probably other stuff that I'm forgetting. Yeah, they don't serve the garlic fries and hot dogs here, which I think is a travesty. Anyway, I decide right then that I'm going to make the Giants sorry for having dinner buffet style. I eat a plate full of food and, before heading back to the press box, make myself a huge sandwich and take two cookies for the road. Yes... things are looking up.

First Inning
Sanchez comes out dealing. He strikes out two of the first three batters he faces. Steven Choi is at the game tonight and I'll eventually make my way out to where he's sitting and watch the game with him. But after seeing Sanchez look strong in the first inning, I'm reminded of a conversation I had with him that went something like this:

Me: Who's pitching tonight? Sanchez?
Steve: Maloooo...

Considering how poorly he had been pitching so far this season, Steve's assessment was pretty right on. But so far, Jonathan looks good and in control. But we've got a long way to go.

Second Inning
The Giants score four runs. This is sort of how the Giants offense has gone this season: all or nothing. It can be a lot of fun to watch when it's going well... but it also makes me want to punch someone in the face when it's going poorly.

Giants 4, Padres 0

Fifth Inning
Pablo Sandoval crushes a home run on the first pitch he sees over the right-center field wall. And I mean he CRUSHES it. That was Barry Bonds kind of stuff on that swing; the kind of bomb that makes you start high-fiving the strangers around you. The only problem? I'm sitting in the press box and everyone there is remaining "professional" and not showing any emotion. You'd think I was at a funeral with all the blank expressions staring out onto the field.

Giants 7, Padres 0

Sixth Inning
After being around those Debbie Downers, I decide it's time to get out of there and sit with people who can actually express their feelings and make the walk up to where Steve's sitting. Before I do, though, I notice that Sanchez still hasn't given up a hit through six. For whatever reason, it's felt like he's been doing a lot worse. But when I think about, yeah... I guess he HAS been doing pretty well. Sanchez induced a lot of flyball and groundball outs between the second and fifth innings, and only lately has started striking guys out again. A lot of people say that the strikeout is one of the more overrated stats in baseball, but one thing it absolutely does do is give the impression of dominance. At that point in the game, even after I had watched nearly every single pitch, you could have told me that Sanchez had given up five hits and walked three guys, and I would have believed you. Again, the strikeout may not be an indication of dominance, but it IMPLIES dominance.

Seventh Inning
For those of you that don't know, one of the rules of a no-hitter is that you don't talk about it while it's going on because that jinxes it. I walk to Steve's section and, as I sit down, the first thing he says to me is: "Sanchez has a no-hitter going!!"

I do my best to try and not say anything about the no-hitter, but it gets increasingly difficult the more it looks like it's actually going to happen. By the middle of the eighth inning, I'm calling people telling them to turn the game on and watch.

Also, it's worth noting that the Giants get a mini-rally going in the bottom of the eighth which actually worries me because it means Sanchez is getting cold in the dugout. As grateful as I should be that the Giants are doing something good on offense, I'm actually hoping the Giants stop scoring runs. They push across one more and it's time for the final inning...

Giants 8, Padres 0

Ninth Inning
The most nerve-wracking ninth inning I've ever witnessed in my life. I freak out every single time a batter swings, and freak out even more if he makes contact with the ball.

After getting the first batter to ground out to short, Edgar Gonzalez smashes one to center field. The entire park holds its breath... and let's out a collective sigh when Aaron Rowand leaps up and comes down with the ball in his glove. Seriously, I think I'm going to have a heart attack.

The last batter is Everth Cabrera and Sanchez eventually works the count to 2-2. He winds, throws a curveball, Cabrera watches it go by, the ump throws his hand up, and the no-hitter has become reality. The crowd goes wild and the players mob Sanchez on the field. A phenomenal game.

Sanchez's final line: 9 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 11 Ks; 110 Pitches - 77 Strikes

Postgame Analysis
I wrote this in my last entry but for a while, I had come to peace with the belief that I would never see a no-hitter live in my life. There might be no event in all of sports that's as rare and unpredictable as a no-hitter. You can't plan on it, you can't buy tickets in advance for one. It's just a matter of being in the right place at the right time, and fortunately I was on this night.

When I think about it, I really can't remember the last time I was this excited at a ball game. It's been six years since the Giants were last in the playoffs, and that's the only thing I can even compare the level of excitement to. (As a side note, the Giants are playing out of their minds this year. If you had told me before the season that they would be 10 games over .500 with the second best record in the National League, I would have thought you were the most untrustworthy person in the world, with Bernie Madoff being a close second).

I've been sitting here for a while now trying to write what it was all like. Honestly, though, I'm really out of words to express what it meant to be there. I'll just say congratulations to Jonathan Sanchez. Thanks for the memories. You did good, kid. And you also increased your potential trade value. So thanks for that as well.

P.S. I recorded the final out and posted it on YouTube. Relive that moment with me...

No No No

I was at the Giants game on Friday night to witness Jonathan Sanchez throw a no-hitter. I'm going to do a retro-running diary of this game soon, so stay tuned for that. But for now, I'll just say this: I was pretty certain that I would never, ever, ever see a no-hitter live and in person. No-hitters are, of course, extremely rare. There have only been 220 in baseball history since 1900; a rate of essentially two a year. Those are already pretty poor odds to see one happen.

On top of that, you have to actually attend the game that the no-hitter is going to be thrown in. I've gone to probably close to 10 games this year so far, which puts me on pace for around 20 this season. I consider that a lot for one baseball season. But the Giants play 81 home games, and 162 overall.Not the best odds. And don't forget that there's no guarantee that a no-hitter is going to happen during the season at all, or that it'll even happen to the Giants. Remember, the last time a Giants pitcher threw a no-hitter was 33 years ago -- 10 years before I was even born.

Sure, you can try and up your odds by going to a game being pitched by the team's ace. But Jonathan Sanchez was far from the ace on this team; his ERA was in the 5.30 range, he boasted a 2-8 record, and had been recently demoted to the bullpen because he had been pitching so poorly. I think everyone coming to the park on Friday night was preparing for the worst, just proving that you can never predict how it's going turn out.

So back to the point: attendance at a no-hitter is pretty much just dumb luck. You need a whole combination of forces working at once, and fortunately it all came together on this night. Congratulations to Jonathan Sanchez.

Also, find the video of Jonathan Sanchez's postgame news conference. You can see the top of my head at the bottom of the screen -- the black haired person on the left. Hollerrr.

This is Bad, Real Bad, Michael Jackson

When Michael Jackson passed away a couple weeks ago, like everyone else, I was stunned and somewhat saddened. He was a fabulous entertainer and certainly an icon in the music world. What I couldn't have predicted at the time of his death was how over the top the entire universe would go over his passing, and how ridiculously out of hand the whole situation has gotten.

Let's consider three things:

1) Michael Jackson's memorial service and the parade through LA was paid for by the state of California. And it cost $4 million. Once again, FOUR MILLION DOLLARS. Let me remind you that this is a state whose budget is about as stable as the Titanic after it got hit by the iceberg. And after it was already halfway to the bottom of the ocean. And after Leonardo DiCaprio was left frozen to death in the water. California is cutting funding to numerous public programs while raising taxes and public university tuition, and writing tons of IOUs. Don't forget also that the state's unemployment rate right now is nearly 10 percent. So when you consider all that, of course it only makes sense to fund Michael Jackson's funeral. And give him a $25,000 gold coffin. A GOLD COFFIN. I can't even come up with anything to say to that. I mean, what CAN you say? It's a freaking GOLD COFFIN.

2) If I recall correctly, Los Angeles has something of an issue with automobile traffic. And I think a lot of people drive in LA... the cloud of pollution that hovers over the city is an indication of this. Therefore, it was perfectly logical to shut down several freeways and city streets during RUSH HOUR on a WEEKDAY so that the funeral procession could drive all over LA as it pleased. Let's be real here: only in LA could something like this happen. Not only would they have no problem spending $4 million, but they would also have no problem wreaking traffic hell to the 900th power on their roadways. If there was ever a time for Northern California to petition to separate itself from Southern California, it's right now. I'm pretty sure the Michael Jackson funeral would be all the evidence NorCal would need to be allowed to become its own state.

3) What I'm finding most amazing about all of this is how easily people are overlooking the last portion of Michael's life (better known as his crazy years) and the fact that this man was a pedophile. I admit that when I first heard news of his death, I immediately just thought of Michael the musician. But the reality is that we need to remember Michael the person. This is a man who invited little boys over to Neverland Ranch for sleepovers where they would sleep in the same bed. What's even more disturbing is that Michael never really denied any of it; to him, it was completely normal for a grown man to have pajama parties with little boys. Essentially, Michael Jackson was given the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card for the last 15 years or so of his life. God bless this country.

Now I know some people will try to defend Michael by saying that he was just trying to experience the childhood that was taken away from him, and that he wasn't really that bad a guy. But all you have to do is ask yourself one question: would you let your son sleep over at Michael Jackson's place? After you ask yourself that question, ask yourself this: would you then give that same man a funeral with a gold coffin?

The main point is that we shouldn't all go out of our way to try and paint this guy as a hero. He was far, far from that. So many more people do such great things with their lives and hardly get any attention for it. And you know what? They're fine with that. And in that regard, I give the funeral credit for one thing: Michael would have undoubtedly wanted it to be like this -- incredibly attention-grabbing bordering on insane.

Look, in the end, I understand that a man passed away before his time, and for that I do feel some sadness. As elaborate as it was, it's still good that people were able to pay their final respects. But I knew I could count on Ron Artest to turn tribute into a thing of mockery. RonRon's new number with the Lakers will be 37, in honor of the 37 weeks that Thriller was number one on the charts. A little weird, but sure, I guess that's a nice gesture. Plus, it's relatively tame compared to what we've seen from him in the past.

Wait, what's that? He also made a tribute rap song for Michael? And it's terrible? But also unintentionally hilarious at the same time? Yeah, that's more like it, Ron. This is much more up your alley. (As a warning, YouTube has already removed several of the videos with the song due to copyright issues. Or because they want to try and save America's ears from this song. But just Google it and you'll find it. Also, look out for the 1:50 mark of the song where Ron raps, "I know you in heaven, I hope to see you next year." If America keeps up its trend of honoring crazy people, I can only imagine how Ron Artest's funeral is going to go.)


Nothing else needs to be said. But seriously...a GOLD COFFIN.

Movie For One?

I randomly thought about this story today and I thought I'd share it with everyone.

Back in high school, I went to see Ocean's 11 with a friend. We bought our tickets and were getting ready to go into the theater when we noticed an older gentleman behind us getting his ticket. He politely asked the cashier, "Can I get one for Ocean's Two?"

So clearly he couldn't tell that the two lines after "Ocean's" were for "eleven" -- not "two." Now that story by itself is kind of funny, but when I thought about it again today, I realized something: that man had absolutely no clue what movie he was about to watch. There's several things to consider here...

First, by saying "Ocean's Two" it implies that there was an "Ocean's One" which, as far as I know, does not exist. So the man certainly never saw the non-existent "Ocean's One."

Second, he obviously had not seen the previews for Ocean's 11, which further means that he had probably zero idea what the movie was going to even remotely be about. He probably thought it actually was about an ocean...but the second ocean movie...but somehow the ocean is possessive of the two... Well, whatever he was thinking, he was probably very disappointed when he watched the movie and realized that there were no oceans or the number two.

Finally, judging by the age of the man, he was probably old enough to have been around when the ORIGINAL Ocean's 11 with Sinatra was released. So apparently he missed the boat both times on this movie.

In spite of all this, I give the man credit for one thing: he went to see the movie by himself. In my opinion, the art of going to the movie theater by yourself is one that gets a bad rap. The implication of doing so is that you are a loser with no friends. But let's think about this for a minute: Let's say you go to a movie with five or six people. When you sit down in the theater, at best you have one person on either side of you. You can pretty much only talk to those two people comfortably for probably 10 maybe 15 minutes. And once the movie starts, you don't talk to them at all. Also, let's say you go with a group of people and there's some individuals there that you're not that close with or, worse yet, you straight up don't like. There's a chance you might end up sitting next to them and for those 10-15 minutes before the movie, you either have to force nice talk with them or leave the awkward silence. Your call, man.

And in the big picture, when you go to a movie with a friend, you're essentially paying to watch TV with someone. Look, I'm not hating on going to a movie with other people. We all do it and when we get in those situations where we're pretty desperate for something to do (which happens quite often...), it makes sense to go the movies with friends. Plus, it's kind of an intimidating thought to watch a movie solo. But the reality is that doing so isn't really that crazy of an idea. In the end, you're still doing the most important part: you're watching the movie. And the payoff is just as great because you can make your friends who haven't seen it feel bad about not seeing it, and when they ask you if you want to, you can deny them and make them feel like a loser. YES.

Now with all that being said, I admit that I've never gone to a movie by myself. However, I'm seriously considering doing so. The picture in question is Up, and my reasoning for wanting to do so is 1) everyone says it's awesome, and 2) everyone has already seen it. Of course, I could be wrong about this whole "it's okay to go to the movies by yourself thing" and I might just be trying to convince myself that it's okay that I'm a loser with no friends. Anyway, if I do end up going by myself, I'll be sure to write about it here and let everyone know how it goes. But, uh, if you DO want to watch it, let me know....