If you haven't seen the promos yet, there's a new TV series that's vying for the title of greatest unintentionally funny show ever: Steven Seagal: Lawman. The show centers around, who else, Steven Seagal. But it's not like his movies where he plays the white, ass-kicking cop/law enforcement agent who knows kung-fu, but might also be secretly Native American because he's always wearing Native American clothing. No, this show is different. Steven Seagal doesn't play a cop... he IS a cop. Yes, Lawman is a reality show. Apparently, Seagal has been a Reserve Deputy Sheriff in Jefferson Parish, Louisiana for over 20 years and the show basically follows him around while he's both on and off-duty.As someone who has seen a Seagal movie or two in my life, I can't tell you how excited I was to watch this show. And not because I thought it would be particularly revealing or entertaining, but because I was excited to see Steven Seagal get a little too into being a real cop. Can't you imagine it? Seagal pulls over some teenage kid for doing 40 in a 35. He slowly walks up to the driver side and asks for his license and registration. The kid hands it over and then realizes it's freaking Steven Seagal!
"You're Steven Seagal!" he says in disbelief.
"That's OFFICER Seagal, you punk. Get out of the car right now."
"What?"
Seagal proceeds to pull the kid out of the car through the window and perform a series of kung-fu kicks and punches on him. As the kid writhes around on the ground, Seagal finishes writing him a ticket and tosses it on him. As he starts walking back to his car, he turns back to the kid dramatically and says, "You have 30 days to pay the fine or appeal the ticket."
And after watching the actual show? I was pretty much right about Seagal getting a little too excited. Okay, so he didn't beat up a teenager, but throughout the show he gets pumped up about almost everything that happens. For example: while on patrol, a high-speed chase ensues. After a short pursuit on the freeway, the suspect is eventually boxed in and subdued by several officers as Seagal's car arrives on scene a little bit late. But as they pull up, he starts shouting, "Where he at?! Where he at?!" He sprints out of the car and, even though there are five cops already pinning the guy down, Seagal jumps in and gets in on the action. Um, thanks for the assist, Steve.
Then there was the part where he helped a fellow officer with his shooting. I was actually impressed because it turns out that Seagal is a really good marksman (he shoots the top off of a q-tip and then a match from 20 feet away). But the best part was his insight on the art of shooting a gun: "Just like zen archery or something, it's a kind of meditation for some people, being able to really concentrate on being masterful with your discipline."
My thoughts exactly.
Like I said, it's quality entertainment.
Anyway, apparently I wasn't the only excited one for Steven Seagal's reality show debut. The premiere of Lawman drew 3.4 million viewers, which is the highest ever for a premiere on A&E. So that's about 3.4 million people more than normally watch A&E shows. Basically, Steven Seagal is to A&E what Jon and Kate were to TLC... except watching one show makes you angry to the point you want to beat someone up, and the other show features Steven Seagal. Anyway, be sure to check it out. I mean, come on, when has Steven Seagal ever disappointed?
