Lessons from DC

I spent last weekend in Washington DC visiting my brother who's interning out there for the summer. (Please keep your Monica jokes to yourself.) I've been a few times now and I've realized that DC's a pretty cool city. It's one of those places where you go and when you spot a particular monument or building, you think how cool it is to actually see it in person. Anyway, here are some of the things I learned from my most recent trip to our nation's capital.

1. DC is hot. REALLY hot.
If you've ever wondered what hell feels like, try going to DC in the middle of summer. You'll get a pretty good idea. We landed on Saturday morning and as it so happened, the region was in the midst of a horrible heat wave which had started about, oh, two months earlier. In the shelter of our hotel room, I looked up on weather.com the day's temperature: "102 degrees." This news was then proceeded by one little add-on: "Feels like 107." That would be the humidity in action. Awesome. Needless to say, I'm never taking 65 degree Bay Area summers for granted ever again.

My advice to you, friends? Do not visit Washington DC between the months of June and September. Oh, and the winters can get pretty rough too, so avoid the months of November through February. So basically, there are more or less four months in the entire year that are acceptable for going to DC. Keep that in mind.

2. In spite of the heat, DC is a fun city!
There isn't any place quite like DC. Like I said before, history is everywhere in the city. Whether it's the monuments or the memorials or the White House, there's so much to see. There's also the Capitol, the National Gallery of Art, and don't forget all the Smithsonians. But the best part of all these places? Nearly all of them are FREE. Hollerrrr. And in addition to all the National Mall attractions, there's also fun neighborhoods like Georgetown and Dupont Circle, and taking time to walk along the Potomac River. Anyway, you get the point. There's a lot to do.

3. Okay, even though the National Mall is cool...
There is no freaking place to eat around that area. Trust me. I went searching and nearly starved to death in the process. What the hell, dude? There's not even like a McDonalds or something. This has to be some conspiracy by Congress to force you to overpay to eat at the Capitol cafeteria. Forget the economy; Michael Moore needs to investigate the downtown DC restaurant shortage.

4. Kevin Durant is from DC!
Okay, I didn't actually learn this while I was there, but my brother texted me a few days after I had left and told me that Kevin Durant was going to be coming to the Capitol to give a talk on sports nutrition or something of that nature. I sort of joked that my brother should get me KD's autograph, but he said that he actually would during the autograph/photo session! The next day, I get this photo sent to me:


YESSSSS. I already loved the Durantula before this, but he's now officially my favorite non-Warrior basketball player. (In case you're wondering, Steph Curry is my favorite.) My brother also told Durant to win MVP for him. KD laughed and said, "We'll see." So if he wins MVP, just know that my brother inspired him. It certainly wasn't all the extra hard work he puts in, or his winning mentality, or his desire to keep getting better. No. It was my brother.

5. Last lesson: Seriously, DC is hot.
On our last day there, it was only 90. You know it's hot when you start saying stuff like, "It was ONLY 90."

With all due respect to Joe DiMaggio, I'd like to thank the good Lord for making me a Californian.

Well done, Miss Granger

I was on my flight back from DC yesterday and I started reading Harry Potter 6. As I was reading, I remembered a particularly funny story my friend told me a while ago...

So as you may or may not know, Emma Watson (the girl who plays Hermione in the HP movies) goes to Brown. My friend's friend also goes to Brown and happened to be in the same lecture as Emma. During class one day, the professor asked a question to the students. Emma Watson raised her hand and she was called on. She answers the question and the professor says something to her like, "Thank you. Very good."

All of a sudden, someone from the back of the lecture yells out, "TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR!!!!!"

Needless to say, the class burst out laughing. Emma Watson was not as amused.

Swoon-o Mars

Okay, I know most people have already heard this song. And I know it's going to quickly be overplayed on the radio. But who cares. I like it anyway. And it's my blog so I'll do what I want.

Bruno Mars - "Just The Way You Are"

Congratulations are in order, Bruno. Not only do you have a hit song on your hands, but you also currently own the hearts of all the women of America with this song. Well done.

Beat LA

The Giants are in LA this week for a three game set with the Dodgers, and last night's game proved to be pretty interesting. But as I was watching the game yesterday and seeing Dodger Stadium on TV, it reminded me of a conversation I had with my friend Jake the other week...

Jake: our office is going to a dodgers game tonight
Jake: and i have to go
Jake: otherwise i dont get to leave early
Me: damn dude
Me: that's weak
Me: who're they playing
Jake: the marlins
Me: cool..
Jake: lol yeah should be a blast
Me: how is dodger stadium
Jake: dodger stadium is one of the worst stadiums ever
Jake: people do the wave, and there are at least 20 beach balls in play at all times
Jake: its just old and lame
Jake: and the dodgers play there
Jake: its like kansas city, but outside
Jake: oh wait nm they are outside
Me: haha
Me: it's like kansas city, but in la
Jake: exactly.
Jake: the worst

Fine, Fresh, Fierce, We Got It On Lock

I heard about this remix to Katy Perry's "California Gurls" on the radio the other day called "New York City Gurls." You can probably guess what it's about. Now, I'm not a fan of Katy Perry by any means, but could this J-Hype fool be anymore of a biter? This is freaking weak. Come on, dude. Let's at least see some effort. And while we're at it, let's try and think of a less stupid name for you than J-Hype.

P.S. My favorite part of the "New York Gurls" remix? The line about 15 seconds in that goes, "It's the Empire State, Lebron James' next stop!" The LOL moment of the song.

P.P.S. I realize I've been on a pretty good LeBron James streak these last few posts. I'll get off of it soon.

P.P.P.S Bill Simmons' decision.

P.P.P.P.S Steve Carell's decision.

P.P.P.P.P.S Okay, seriously. I'll calm down with LeBron soon. I promise. And the P.S's too.

Bye, 'Bron

This was the front page of the Cleveland Plain Dealer on Friday. (The small print on the right side says "7 years in Cleveland. No rings.")

Nothing else to be said. It's absolutely great.

Et tu, LeBron?

When I first heard that LeBron James was going to announce where he would be playing next year on ESPN in a one hour special that his people had negotiated, there was one word that came to mind: douche. Look, there's no denying that LeBron is a great player, probably the most talented player in the game right now. But if there was any question about what kind of a person he is, that was answered the second he decided to put create an hour long show dedicated to himself that he would control and put on ESPN.

But as douchey as the whole thing is, I couldn't help but watch the whole thing unfold. This seemed as good a time as any to do a running diary. Let's revisit The Decision...

5:50 - Switch over to ESPN. Analysts give their last bits of input, so I'll give mine. Everyone says Miami is where LeBron is heading. Makes sense at first glance -- D-Wade, Bosh, and LeBron? Can't say no to that. But this is what the Heat will look like: those three guys, plus nine guys with minimum contracts. Uh, is that a championship team? Hell no. You need those role players, the guys who create and do the little things for those big three. Instead, you have three guys who are used to being THE guy. I just can't see this working out the way everyone thinks it's going to.

If LeBron is smart, he'll either go to Chicago or stay in Cleveland. Chicago makes sense because it's the best overall team and he's still clearly the alpha dog there. Cleveland makes sense because it's his hometown, they'll work even harder to get the right guys around him, plus it shows he's loyal, and it proves he's willing to put in the work to make the Cavs successful. Also, if he decides to go somewhere else, he's basically stabbing Cleveland in the heart on national TV.

ESPN shows LeBron walking around the gym of the Boys and Girls Club in Connecticut, trying to act like this is something totally routine or normal. The audacity of this guy... But I also really hate myself for watching this.

6:00 - Stuart Scott is anchoring the coverage. Great. My least favorite ESPN personality. I hate this even more.

6:04 - ESPN shows a LeBron montage filled with highlights and memorable moments. Of course, there's one highlight missing: the one where he wins a title.

6:11 - They just put up a graphic of LeBron wearing different jerseys. This is getting more and more stupid by the second. Also, what happened to announcing the decision in the first 10 minutes? Lies, ESPN! LIES!

6:20 - Still just mindless banter from the ESPN heads about sources and speculation. And now another commercial break. This is so mind numbingly annoying. I feel like Barry Bonds. I hate everyone.

6:22 - They finally cut to LeBron and Jim Gray. Rather than just ask LeBron where he's going, Jim does a stupid dance of asking lead in questions. No one cares, Jim. No one cares.

6:25 - He's still asking questions. I'm pretty sure I'm going to punch Jim Gray in the face if I see him on the street because he's allowing this stupidity to go on further.

6:26 - LeBron says that his decision is based on the best situation to win. That sound you heard was Cleveland getting kicked in the groin.

6:27 - The decision: It's the Miami Heat! America can finally breathe again!

6:32 - LeBron just said, "I know how loyal I am." That's the LOL moment of the interview so far.

6:36 - They're showing reactions from around the country to his announcement. Miami? Unbridled excitement. Cleveland? You can probably guess.

6:39 - The game I'm looking forward to in the 2010-2011 season: Miami at Cleveland. Especially LeBron's pregame chalk throw. You probably won't have heard as many boos and cuss words since John Rocker pitched in New York.

6:43 - LeBron just compared his Big Three to the Celtics Big Three and talks about how that Celtics team had guys around them step up. He then mentions Rondo as being a guy who was relatively unknown, stepped up to support the Big Three, and ended up becoming one of the best point guards in the game right now. Okay, LeBron. I hate to break this to you, but Mario Chalmers is not the second coming of Rondo. Trust me, I had both of them on my fantasy team last year. One of them ended up being awesome and the second most untradeable guy on my team, and one of them ended up getting dropped from my roster by December. Guess which one was which.


6:46 - I'm seeing Facebook statuses go up everywhere. Just a friendly reminder to everyone: it's Miami Heat, not Miami HeatS.

6:49 - They show Cleveland fans burning LeBron jerseys. Michael Wilbon asks LeBron his reaction to that. "I'm going to be happy with the decision I've made and continue to be great." Wow. What a douche.

6:52 - Jim Gray's interview finally over. Stuart Scott's annoying voice chimes in and says to stick around for one more announcement from LeBron. It's probably going to be something about the money he raised for charity through this event, or he's going to let Cleveland fans know where he left their collective ripped-out heart.

7:02 - They ask LeBron a fan question sponsored by Vitamin Water. The question: who would win in a game of HORSE, you or President Obama? By the way, did I mention that LeBron's people are controlling every aspect of this event?

7:05 - LeBron thanks the sponsors and mentions how much this event helped the Boys and Girls Club. Unfortunately, no mention on where he left Cleveland's stomped-on heart.

7:11 - LeBron makes his next big announcement: the University of Phoenix president tells LeBron they're making a donation to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America. Seriously, this whole thing is beyond stupid now.

Okay, the show went on for a little bit longer, but I got tired of listening to the same thing over and over again. I'll close with a couple of thoughts.

First, let's get one thing straight -- I don't think LeBron is a douche for going to the Heat. He's a free agent and he can do whatever he wants. That's life. I do, however, think he's a douche for the way he went to the Heat. Instead of just calling a simple news conference or announcing it through the team like most players do, LeBron had his people talk to ESPN and negotiate a one hour special dedicated totally to him. He chose the time, the location, the format, the setting, the sponsors, and even the advertisers for the program. Everything was calculated perfectly so that the LeBron hour would be exactly how he wanted it and done in such a way that would build his brand further. Even at the end of the show, he discussed how he was dedicating money to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America, as if to demonstrate to the world that, hey, he's still a nice guy.

But you know who a real class act is? Kevin Durant, who quietly announced his five-year extension with the Thunder on his Twitter account. Just another reason why I love him and OKC.


Second, Dan Gilbert's letter to the fans of Cleveland was probably one of the funniest things I've ever read. Was it over the top? Probably a little bit. But at the same time, I understand where he's coming from. At the beginning of the free agent bonanza, LeBron said Cleveland had the inside track to re-signing him. That was a pretty bold-faced lie. He also never called or spoke to Gilbert before making his announcement. I think that's a pretty big slap in the face for the team that basically made you a god for your entire career so far to have to wait like everyone else for you to make your announcement.

Third, this Heat team won't win a championship next year. I can just about guarantee you that. They're going to need a couple years to build up a bench and some role guys for LeBron/Wade/Bosh. But I think anything less than two championships over the next five years for this group has to be considered a failure. After all the hype and buildup, there is an enormous expectation on all of them (and rightfully so). And it won't be easy. They still have to go through a really good Bulls team, a really good Magic team, and a still really good Lakers team (not to mention a Thunder team that is on the rise). You think Kobe won't be motivated to beat these guys? I hate that fool, but the last thing I want to do is give him another reason to want to beat me.

In the end, I don't disrespect LeBron the player's decision, but I lost respect for LeBron the person tonight. He seemed like a guy who really wanted to win, who had a positive attitude and a good sense of humor to match. Instead, he's just revealed himself to be another selfish athlete concerned more about himself rather than focusing on the real reason why he should famous in the first place: winning.

One Reason to Have Less KP

During the World Cup, I was asked several times who I would root for if Korea and the United States ever ended up playing each other. It's a question I've mulled over many times in the past and my answer was almost always Korea. I wasn't ever totally sure why, but I think I was influenced (or brainwashed) largely by family and friends who have an inordinate amount of Korean pride.

However, as this year's Cup went on, I realized something: in spite of the best efforts of the most prideful of Koreans I know, it turns out that I actually have very little KP. The reality is that I take much more pride in America than Korea, so much so that if Korea and the US played, I'd openly root for America. I know this will probably get me banned from the motherland, but it's the truth. Plus, if you want to talk strictly soccer teams, I can name almost everyone on the US squad: Donovan, Bradley, Altidore, Howard, Dempsey, Onyewu, etc. The Korea team? Well, there's Park Ji-Sung who plays for ManU. And then there's... uh... Kim something... yeah... anyway, you get the point.

Still, I love the Korean part of who I am. It's not something I'd change and, at times, I wish that I was able to embrace it more.

And then I saw something today that made me fairly ashamed to be even slightly Korean. Take a look at this:


In case you haven't put it together yet, that is former reality dad turned professional douche Jon Gosselin's new tattoo: a Korean dragon. To be sure, Gosselin is part Korean, but man... I really wish he wasn't. It's a sad day for all Koreans everywhere to have to be linked to this fool. But let's take away the fact that it's a Korean tattoo for a second. That's just a dumbass tattoo period. Come on, man. You're what, 40 freaking years old? When you got those diamond studs in your ears, that was bad enough. If you're going to have a midlife crisis, go buy a sports car. Or go buy a yacht. Or go hit on some young girl! (...sorry, Jon. Bad example).

Anyway, it's moments like these that make me glad to identify a little bit more with the American in me. Of course, that tends to have its own problems from time to time...