Review: The Town

I saw The Town on Sunday. Two thoughts...

First, how did this movie get 94 percent on Rotten Tomatoes?? Don't get me wrong... it wasn't BAD, but it's for sure not 94 percent good. As a comparison, Inception has an 87 percent rating. Okay, there is no freaking way that The Town is better than Inception. That's like saying LeBron is better than Michael Jordan. Or that McDonalds is better than In N Out. Or that the Dodgers are better than the Giants. They're all just ridiculous statements.

In fact, if you've seen Heat, you've pretty much already seen The Town, just a better version of it. But for fun, let's just compare the two.

Action: Advantage, Heat. Way more action than The Town, including the epic bank shootout scene.

Length: Advantage, The Town. The Town is about two hours long. Heat is about 948754 hours long. Okay, just kidding. But Heat is for real almost three hours long. You could cut half that movie out and it would still be just as good, if not better.

Actors: Advantage, Heat. I have to give him credit -- Ben Affleck was pretty solid. I also really like Jeremy Renner as the obligatory crazy guy on the team and Blake Lively did a good job as a trashy drug addict ho. But Heat had DeNiro, Pacino, Val Kilmer, and Ashley Judd, not to mention the President from 24, Jon Voight, and Jeremy Piven. So it's not really that close. Plus, I'll take Iceman as my wingman any day.


Winner: Heat. The original is always better.

Second thought: Boston accents might be the most annoying in the history of mankind. Unfortunately, they are at a premium in The Town. Thank God we live in California.

Hella > Wicked fahhhh