Another year has come and gone, and 2010 is upon us. But even though we're moving on to bigger and better things, we'll always have the memories, 2009. Come, reminisce with me, won't you?Best Marriage of the Year: Jim and Pam on The Office. Not even close.
Weirdest Marriage of the Year: Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian. Not even close. (Lamar, be honest. The real reason you married her was because you were tired of Kobe getting all the attention, right?)
Most Rapid Breakdown of a Marriage: Jon and Kate Gosselin had won this distinction by a landslide throughout most of the year. And then Tiger Woods and Elin Nordgren came on to the scene. It's hard to argue with a wife that chases her husband down the street with a golf club, and then smashes the rear window attempting to "save" him, but we can't forget that Jon and Kate's decline was pretty epic as well. Let's just call it a tie.
Take your pick. This:
Or this:
Catchiest Song of the Year: Anything by Lady Gaga. I'm not a fan of Lady Gaga, but every single song she writes is absurdly catchy. Whenever she comes on the radio, I just leave the dial and let the song play out. And I'm pretty sure I know all the lyrics. And I know you do too.
Ultimate Get Out of Jail Free Card Moment: Michael Jackson's death. When MJ died, you would have thought that this guy had been the man that cured cancer or brought peace to the entire world. The entire universe was put on hold for the next month so everyone could honor him and talk about how much they loved him. But there was one thing that everyone forgot: this guy was out of his freaking mind! He had sleepovers with little kids!!! And not the kind of sleepover where everyone gets their own sleeping bag... they slept in the same bed!!!! And he admitted it!!!!! And he thought there was NOTHING WRONG WITH IT!!!!!!!! But even knowing all of that, everyone pretty much collectively decided to let Mike off the hook after his death. Was his death sad? Of course. His life was cut short and that's always a tragedy. But come on.... the dude molested little kids. Let's not throw him a parade. (Oh, wait, we already did.)
Guilty Pleasure of the Year: "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift. Okay, it's time to come clean. I really like this song. A lot. I know there are others who are just like me out there. It's okay. This is a safe place. There's no judgment. It's just a place where we can all sing the lyrics out loud together.
You belong with meeeeee....
Speaking of Taylor Swift...
Best movies: 4. Star Trek 3. Up 2. The Hangover 1. Avatar
I finally saw Avatar the other day after weeks of hype from just about everyone in the world and it absolutely lived up to it. In case you haven't seen it yet, make sure to watch it in 3D. Without 3D, it's probably just a really fun movie. With 3D, I'm not sure there's a more visually stunning film. All that said, Avatar is far from the best movie I've ever seen. The story and plot are a bit one-dimensional and things become fairly predictable. But give James Cameron credit-- he has possibly created the most epic film ever.
As a side note, you may wonder why other critically acclaimed movies such as Up in the Air aren't on this list. It's real simple, my friends: I haven't seen them. The movies on this list are the ones I was really looking forward to seeing and, most importantly, these are the movies that made the $10.75 (or whatever absurd price they're charging these days for movies) worth it.
One more side note: make sure you watch The Hangover. Hilarious.
Biggest (and Best) Distraction Among Young Men: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Pure awesomeness.
Best Sports Moment: Usain Bolt's two world records at the World Championships. Yep, that's right. It's from track and field. Now let's be real here for a minute. How many of us even knew the track and field world championships existed? Unless you actually competed in it, probably none of us... until Usain Bolt destroyed the 100 AND the 200 field with record times. The dude is a freak of nature.
Worst Sports Moment: The Lakers winning the NBA championship. The fact that they won isn't really the worst part. The worst part was that everyone knew it was going to happen. Yeah, they had a couple of questionable games in some of their playoff rounds, but we always knew they'd get to the Finals. And then when the Magic knocked off the Cleveland LeBrons in the Eastern Conference Finals, the Lakers essentially locked another trophy up before even playing Orlando. You just knew how it was going to end.
It was like watching The Empire Strikes Back for the second time. You've already seen it, you know how it ends, and you know that the bad guys pretty much had a field day in this movie. The Empire whooped the rebels' asses in the snow battle with those freaking snow walker things, Darth Vader screws up Luke Skywalker physically by cutting off his hand and then screws him up psychologically by telling him he's his father, and, to top it all off, Han Solo gets frozen in carbonite and shipped off to Jabba the Hutt.
Pretty much no bueno all around. That's what it was like being a non-Lakers fan this year.
Best Thing to Look Forward to in 2010: The World Cup. Always wildly entertaining and a ton of fun to watch. FYI, this event is also known as "the rest of the world joining Europe in actually giving a crap about soccer once every four years."
Here's to 2009 and to an even better 2010.
Biggest (and Best) Distraction Among Young Men: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Pure awesomeness.
Best Sports Moment: Usain Bolt's two world records at the World Championships. Yep, that's right. It's from track and field. Now let's be real here for a minute. How many of us even knew the track and field world championships existed? Unless you actually competed in it, probably none of us... until Usain Bolt destroyed the 100 AND the 200 field with record times. The dude is a freak of nature.
Worst Sports Moment: The Lakers winning the NBA championship. The fact that they won isn't really the worst part. The worst part was that everyone knew it was going to happen. Yeah, they had a couple of questionable games in some of their playoff rounds, but we always knew they'd get to the Finals. And then when the Magic knocked off the Cleveland LeBrons in the Eastern Conference Finals, the Lakers essentially locked another trophy up before even playing Orlando. You just knew how it was going to end.
It was like watching The Empire Strikes Back for the second time. You've already seen it, you know how it ends, and you know that the bad guys pretty much had a field day in this movie. The Empire whooped the rebels' asses in the snow battle with those freaking snow walker things, Darth Vader screws up Luke Skywalker physically by cutting off his hand and then screws him up psychologically by telling him he's his father, and, to top it all off, Han Solo gets frozen in carbonite and shipped off to Jabba the Hutt.
Pretty much no bueno all around. That's what it was like being a non-Lakers fan this year.
Best Thing to Look Forward to in 2010: The World Cup. Always wildly entertaining and a ton of fun to watch. FYI, this event is also known as "the rest of the world joining Europe in actually giving a crap about soccer once every four years."
Here's to 2009 and to an even better 2010.
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