I recently took a trip to Miami with several friends for a good old fashioned vacation. Here are some things that I learned...
1. Miami may as well be a foreign country
There's a line in the Will Smith song "Miami" that goes something like, "Real sweet faces/ Every different nation/ Spanish, Haitian, Indian, Jamaican/ Black, White, Cuban, and Asian."
That line is pretty accurate... if you take out Indian, Black, White, and Asian. In fact, I'm pretty sure I saw less than ten other Asians the entire time I was in Miami. The majority of the white people I saw were Oklahomans down in Miami to watch the football game. As for Indians? I certainly didn't see any House of Curries in South Beach.
Anyway, I really felt like I was in South America or something. Everyone speaks Spanish, has a Spanish accent, and I'd say over half of the signs around the city are written in Spanish. Sorry, Fresh Prince, but diversity is not really the name of the game in Miami.
2. If you're Hispanic/Latino, your radio stations are set to a different dial than everyone else's.
This one night, we went out to a club that a cab driver recommended. "It's in a good area, people like it a lot, I haven't heard anything bad about it, etc." Okay, guy, I'll take your advice. We're a bunch of Asian kids who don't know the area so we appreciate any tips we can get. There was, however, one thing that the driver neglected to mention: the club was about 98.5 percent Latino.
Needless to say, we stood out pretty good there. This point was driven home when the DJ started playing random Reggaeton songs that I had never heard of, but everyone else in the club knew all the words and was singing the lyrics in unison. Oh, and then there was also the time when the DJ asked for the following ethnic groups to make some noise: DOMINCANOS! CUBANOS! MEXICANOS! PUERTO RICANS!
So, yeah, it was a little awkward. I should say that it actually didn't turn out to be that bad once they started playing more mainstream songs. Plus, it was a good lesson in race relations. You know how when you go to a restaurant in Berkeley and there's that huge group of Asians sitting at a table but you also notice that one random white kid who's with them? And you can't help but laugh a little bit? Now I know what it's like to be the white kid.
3. Want to know who's not from around here? Go to the beach.
There's a few things you can count on when you go to a beach in Miami: gorgeous views, incredibly blue water that's actually warm enough to swim in, and Europeans who are wearing either a) a way too tight speedo if they're men, or b) no top and a thong if they're women. I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about it. Okay, well, I know how I feel about the men in speedos. But the women going topless thing, I have mixed feelings about. How can you complain about beautiful women being half-naked you might ask? Well, sure, there are lots of beautiful, young women who do it. But there are also lots of not-so-beautiful, older women who do it as well. And it's one of those things where you can't help but look... no bueno.
Yeah I don't know, man, the whole thing is just weird. Let's all just keep our clothes on, please.
4. Free checked bags on Southwest? Nah, I'm good.
Southwest Airlines allows you to check not one, but TWO bags for FREE. Once again, that's TWO BAGS FOR FREE. And yet, so many people on my flight decided to CARRY EVERYTHING ON. The problem in doing this is that the carry-on bins get completely filled up, which leads to passengers walking up and down the aisles looking to stuff their bag in any space possible, and when they can't find it, the stewardess then has to check the bags down below the plane anyway, and we end up leaving 20 minutes late. Also, when we de-plane, it takes that much longer to get off because everyone has so many freaking bags in random areas of the plane.
I realize that carrying on bags is a matter of convenience so that you don't need to wait at the baggage claim, but if we end up leaving late and then sit on the plane longer when we land so people can gather their bags, isn't convenience no longer applicable? Am I the only person who thinks this? Anyone? Bueller?
Anyway, Miami was a good time and a place that everyone should check out. But the weather conditions will eventually catch up to you. Seriously, 90-plus degrees with humidity makes it easier to come back home where it's actually comfortable to walk around outside. West side 'til we die.
And finally, on a completely unrelated note, The Office wedding last night was one of the greatest episodes of the show ever. Period. If you haven't already, watch it now. Seriously. Now.
PB and J!
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