Review: The Town

I saw The Town on Sunday. Two thoughts...

First, how did this movie get 94 percent on Rotten Tomatoes?? Don't get me wrong... it wasn't BAD, but it's for sure not 94 percent good. As a comparison, Inception has an 87 percent rating. Okay, there is no freaking way that The Town is better than Inception. That's like saying LeBron is better than Michael Jordan. Or that McDonalds is better than In N Out. Or that the Dodgers are better than the Giants. They're all just ridiculous statements.

In fact, if you've seen Heat, you've pretty much already seen The Town, just a better version of it. But for fun, let's just compare the two.

Action: Advantage, Heat. Way more action than The Town, including the epic bank shootout scene.

Length: Advantage, The Town. The Town is about two hours long. Heat is about 948754 hours long. Okay, just kidding. But Heat is for real almost three hours long. You could cut half that movie out and it would still be just as good, if not better.

Actors: Advantage, Heat. I have to give him credit -- Ben Affleck was pretty solid. I also really like Jeremy Renner as the obligatory crazy guy on the team and Blake Lively did a good job as a trashy drug addict ho. But Heat had DeNiro, Pacino, Val Kilmer, and Ashley Judd, not to mention the President from 24, Jon Voight, and Jeremy Piven. So it's not really that close. Plus, I'll take Iceman as my wingman any day.


Winner: Heat. The original is always better.

Second thought: Boston accents might be the most annoying in the history of mankind. Unfortunately, they are at a premium in The Town. Thank God we live in California.

Hella > Wicked fahhhh

The Return of the King

Modern Family. Back tonight. Yeeeee.



Get some.

Stand There and Watch Me Burn

Yes, I know it's been a while. Sorry, I've been busy. And by busy, I mean lazy. Anyway, I just have one thought to share with everyone today: "Love the Way You Lie" has officially reached beyond-overplayed status. Seriously. It's time to move on. That freaking song is played minimum 4987310465 times a day. If I hear it again, I swear I'm gonna tie it to the bed and set this house on fire.

But as far as I'm concerned, this song will never, ever be overplayed.

And now, here's a random, hilarious video to kick off your weekend.



Happy Friday, kids.

Top Chef Recap

It only took me about half the season, but I've finally gotten caught up with Top Chef which is easily one of the most entertaining shows on television. How can you argue with food, crazy challenges, food, drama, and food? That's right. You can't.

Anyway, I figured I would offer up my thoughts about the week's past episode and keep it up through the end of the season because I know that everyone is curious about my Top Chef analysis. Two things to keep in mind: first, my favorite chef by far is Tiffany. She just seems like she's having fun and, most importantly, she's a really good (and really smart) chef. Second, I've said this before, but I'm pretty sure Padma has close to zero clue how to cook. She's basically hosting this show because she's hot. Can you believe that?! Outrageous.

Now that that's out of the way, let's get to this week's episode...

"Covert Cuisine"

The highlight of this week? That douche Alex finally got eliminated. I couldn't stand that fool. Remember at the end of last week's Restaurant Wars episode when his team won but he basically did nothing? And the things that he did try to do (i.e. cut meat and filet fish) he failed at so his teammates had to fix all his work? And he was a complete ass to the wait staff? And then Kenny and Kevin ripped into him during the judging saying that it should be him going home? So yeah. I'm pretty glad he's gone.

But the truth is that every season, there's a guy like Alex -- that guy who is clearly not as good as everyone else and who has a bad personality so no one likes him, but he manages to hang around deep into the show. It freaking drives me crazy, but thankfully "that guy" has never won the competition.

On a more positive note, my homegirl Tiffany won both CIA-themed quickfire and elimination challenges. Yessss! She's been on a roll lately and looking more and more like the chef to beat. But I always worry about contestants on reality shows who keep winning challenge after challenge leading up to the finale. A lot of times they lose steam, can't quite get back on track, and eventually fail to win the whole thing. I call this "Mychael Knight Syndrome." For those who do not know, Mychael Knight was a contestant on Season 3 of Project Runway. He was a fan favorite and was winning a lot of the challenges leading up to the finale of the show and basically looked like the front-runner. However, he started to come undone in the last few weeks, made some questionable decisions, never fully recovered, and ended up finishing in fourth.

Reality show competitions are like sports. You have to peak at the right time. Who cares if the Cavs won 66 regular season games in 2008-2009? Or if the Mariners won 116 regular season games in 2001? The Cavs lost in the Eastern Conference finals and the Mariners lost in the ALCS. Neither team came through when it mattered most.

(Also, I realize I just made a reference to Project Runway followed by a reference to professional sports. You might be confused as to what the hell kind of blog this exactly is. So am I, my friends. So am I.)

Anyway, we're down to six chefs! It's getting real. Stay tuned...

P.S. Since we're talking about TV, two quick things...

1) I watched the Parks and Rec "Hunting Trip" episode and heard one of the funniest lines ever: Tom Haverford asking how mad Ron Swanson is that someone shot him, "On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how pissed is he?"

2) Friday Night Lights season four came to an end a couple weeks ago. All I can say (again) is that FNL is seriously one of the best shows out there right now. How are more people not watching it?!?! Only one season left! Nooooo!

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!

Music for You!

Three songs that I'm enjoying right now...

Lauryn Hill - "Doo Wop (That Thing)"

Lauryn Hill needs to make a comeback. Immediately. This song was a classic off of an album that was equally classic. (I also really like this video.) It's too bad she went Dave Chappelle on us by getting fed up with the commercialization of the industry, going a little crazy, and deciding to go into hiding. Come back, Ms. Hill.

Michael Jackson - "Man in the Mirror"

An undercover Michael hit that gets easily overshadowed by other songs like "Billie Jean" and "Thriller." Positive message too! High five!

P.S. The video for this song is... interesting. I know that it reflects the lyrics of the song, but still. It goes from children suffering from famine, to terrorists, to Asian kids with Santa, to Baby Jessica getting saved from the well, to whales. The video is in its own world and kind of naive by thinking that it's not strange or awkward at all. Kind of like Michael Jackson.

Katy Perry - "Teenage Dream"

No shame.

Okay, maybe a little shame...